No I'm not thick skinned !

[seminolewind]

I board my horse with 20+ others with an older woman who's health is so bad that other boarders feed all the horses 2x a day for nothing. The owner/trainer is very generous and helps everyone with any problems , she is a very good person. However, most of her boarders are kids and the adults are all "needy" for her advice. I do ask her advice as well. I'm honest with myself on the things I need help with.

There's been a few occurances that have really gotten to me. Once I ride this girl's horse just a few minutes in the ring at a walk and the trainer comes jumping over the fence and saying I'm making the horse mad and she's ready to run off with me. What I felt is that the horse started out pi$$y and was getting more and more relaxed. I've ridden for 30 years and know what a horse feels like if they are getting upset, or relaxing more.

The 2nd occurance was that I popped on my girlfriend's horse for my girlfriend to just see if she could spot what wasn't working for her. Not to teach . Just to give gf an opportunity to watch her horse. She came over and said that I was not riding the horse correctly and I didn't warm him up the right way. My gf had just rode him for a 1/2 hour. She had warmed him up.

Yesterday was the last one. This trainer has two 18 month old colts that have never been trained to behave. She wanted them moved to another paddock. One woman there has her arm in a sling. One woman has 2 broken ribs and a hernia. One young girl, one woman who doesn't feel qualified to help. She says I"m too inexperienced to help. She says if one gets away from me, he will run thru electric fence and jump on a mare.

I just have this feeling that since I am not "needy", she doesn't want me to look competent because she didn't train me. And it's one thing for her to feel I'm not competent, and another to say it in front of others.

Is there any way to approach this? Or should I just ignore it? Yes, these things do bother me a lot. I've not said anything because she's older and in poor health. Maybe I'm an easy mark because I don't argue about it. Maybe she doesn't want it to look like I'm competent and she's not made me that way. I'd like it to stop, but don't know how to reply when these things happen. Advice?

 

[Peaches Lee]

That's really tough, because as you know, horse people are crazy. Competitiveness and jealousy are rife within the equestrian hobby. My only advice is to keep on plugging along. If it gets really bad and you feel you have a target on your back, it's time to find a new barn. Good luck to you.

 

[Fancychooklady]

Illness is no excuse for rudeness. Pain can make for some unbearable behavior but sounds like you need to have quiet word with her . It is her prerogative to choose who handles her horses but she should keep her opinions to herself. Our daughter competes at a national level and there are without a doubt many ' personalities ' within in the sport but the same can be said of most sports.
My motto is ' speak up ' , otherwise it will more than likely fester up inside you and in the ' heat ' of the moment you may say things that you don't mean.
Don't take it to heart , owning a horse is not rocket science and the horse scene can be very ' clicky '
There will always be someone that thinks they know more than you do and will take every opportunity to remind you of it.

 

[seminolewind]

Peachea and Fancy, I think you're both right. The horse world is clicky and I forgot about the competiveness and jealousy. I don't compete and get jealous, so I guess that's why I miss those things from others. Maybe it also makes me an easy target.

quote: "There will always be someone that thinks they know more than you do and will take every opportunity to remind you of it."

Fancy I really like your last sentence.

 

[Fancychooklady]

Peachea and Fancy, I think you're both right.  The horse world is clicky and I forgot about the competiveness and jealousy.  I don't compete and get jealous, so I guess that's why I miss those things from others.  Maybe it also makes me an easy target. 

quote: "There will always be someone that thinks they know more than you do and will take every opportunity to remind you of it."

Fancy I really like your last sentence. 

Lol, sounds like you have ' your head screwed on the right way ' , don't let their issues become yours. Let it roll straight off ' like water off a ducks back ' .

 

[theoldchick]

Oh boy, do I remember those clicky Florida horse stables. I was only a kid and was exposed to the wacky world of nutty horse people at a tender age. One horse owner even had her dog attack me. After the Doberman bit my leg, I swatted it with a metal curry comb (I was brushing my horse) and nearly put the dog's eye out.

Mom moved me to another (smaller) barn that was more suitable to my needs: a family atmosphere which encouraged youngsters to ride in whatever style they wanted. It was a fun place that gave me many nice memories.

If you don't like the people move to another barn. Might be the only way to enjoy your horse.

 

[seminolewind]

Out of all the places around here, this is the best place. I was at my last barn for 4 years, nice family atmosphere. But the owner's daughter/trainer/manager's attitude made me leave. That is another story.

I think there is a clique between the owner and 2 ladies who help her by feeding all the horses every day. One of those ladies gives my gf un asked for advice for her 30 year old horse that gf has owned for 20 years, LOL.

Oldchick, seems there's a lot of people down here who have nothing but their "unending knowledge".

I've owned horses since 1985, and have only ever boarded these past 5 years-just for facilities and social life. I do have to learn to let these comments roll off my back. I need to focus more on my horse than what others are doing.

 

[Peaches Lee]

My experience from the horse world, if you have any sort of talent, you have a target on your back. Even people that loosely brand themselves as professionals do not act in a professional manner. It is hard to ignore when people come right up to you and "attack" you, it's one reason I left a stellar barn full of opportunity. I'm still angry about it and that was 7 years ago. Hope everyone can chill out and you enjoy your horse more!

 

[Fancychooklady]

My experience from the horse world, if you have any sort of talent, you have a target on your back.  Even people that loosely brand themselves as professionals do not act in a professional manner.  It is hard to ignore when people come right up to you and "attack" you, it's one reason I left a stellar barn full of opportunity.  I'm still angry about it and that was 7 years ago.  Hope everyone can chill out and you enjoy your horse more!

I hear where you are coming from, here in Aus we call it ' tall poppy syndrome ' . Can't have anyone getting their head up in the clouds, so you knock down a few pegs. Our daughter has had a target on her back since she was 11 years old.

 

[seminolewind]

LOL I can see the target on her back! Nice tucked legs on the horse, I like the way she's looking at the next jump.
I did all the showing , lessons, and politics for 10 years in the 80's-90's. I try to use my basics from dressage. My gf and I sortof coach eachother. We both have Tennessee walking horses.

I give the barn owner credit for teaching jumping. There's no better. But when it comes to gaited, one of her favorites told me I have the wrong saddle and I need a gaited saddle. I told her I like my saddle and it fits her fine. Her and the owner both think that you need to choke up on a gaited horse to make them step higher. The favorite's gaited horse has 7 inch shanks and I've never seen the horse do a nice trail flat walk. It's all head in the air, flipping her head around, it makes me cringe. But I keep it to myself. TWH outside the blasted show ring are nice trail horses with a long and low way of going. Do these people realize that the horse needs to be relaxed to gait? I keep that to myself. I have been corrected for tense arms. But my horse wouldn't be gaiting if I was stiff. She had told me that I need to ride with my legs in a chair position. I said now days everyone rides in a balanced position, (ear,shoulder, hip and heel) regardless of what type of riding, English, western, or gaited. (Jumping has a balance all it's own).

I guess what I'm saying is don't correct me on things you know nothing about. I don't watch people ride very much, but when I do and when asked I will only say positive stuff. I won't criticize.

I think this owner is happy with needy people. I'm not needy.
And like some people here, I've worked with many horses in 30 years, all different types and problems and I know what my limits are.

I sure feel better getting to talk it out with people who've been there.