I totally get it. Everything you have expressed has crossed my mind since we will be leaving our family behind here to live in the mountains. I know that what I am about to say sounds very jaded and negative but from what I have observed in our family, the people who get their kids to help them are the ones who guilt them into it. My Mother-in-law is a prime example of that.
A friend of mine and I were talking the other day about this very thing and she said that in her next life she was going to be a needy whiner so she will have people falling over themselves to help her. LOL! It seems that when you are a capable, self-reliant, motivated individual, people sometimes think you do not need help. I was raised to do everything myself so I have a hard time asking for assistance even when I need it. When I do see kids helping out their parents out of love and just because they want to it really warms my heart.