You ain't holding your mouth right, or something, Dax.
Part of your problem, I think, is that you're single.
Soon as I had a 'puter with internet capability I bought TurboTax software & started doing my own taxes. That was a lot of years ago. TurboTax s/w should be called "Tax Preparation for Dummies"; it walks you through every step, beginning to end. The simple version, I believe, is free online. You might ought to check it out. I highly recommend it. Filing jointly, with deductions for mortgage interest & medical bills, we'll get roughly $3,000 back, between State & Federal.