I hope this doesn't get me kicked off the forum....
Why do they have to come up next to me wherever I go in my enormous backyard and kick dirt all over me and into my shoes?
Why, in said enormous backyard, where they are free to roam and eat bugs and dig holes and do whatever they like, do they stand on the back doorstep looking in?
Why, in enormous backyard, do they need to come onto the patio to poo and not on some bit of garden/dirt/vegetation?
Why do they keep pulling new stuff out of the vege box I'm trying to get inside, instead of eating the bits they've already grabbed?
Why can't they heel like a dog, instead of trying to trip me over when I'm trying to take some goodies to their house?
Why, when I've bought them a new bigger house which has a perch area to sleep on, do they sleep in the laying boxes and right next to them, using about a quarter of their house? (should I remove the perch if they aren't going to use it?)