Funny fart stories: you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll gag!!

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Woohoo, awesome mall! Im from Illinois too! Your story reminded me of when I went Christmas shopping there last. I didnt know I was pregnant yet and it was very hard getting through the day. I didnt have any gas but I did puke in my boyfriends car on the way home. I tried to puke in a shopping bag but the bag had a hole in the bottom. Did I mention I live about 45 mins from the mall? LoL. Once again, windows open even during an Illinois December!
 
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Oh, that's called a Dutch Oven! DBF always forgets what it's called and calls it a "Crock Pot".
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He loves doing it to our obnoxious cat who likes being under the covers.

"Stove pipe" is when you're spooning and the spoonee farts.

I was wondering when someone was going to mention this. A few stories come to mind!
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Im tearing up right now because I'm laughing so hard. Im about to pee my pants!
 
My brother sent me this today, the brother that teaches all the kids in the family how to hike their legs for the best sound effects:

A fart it is a pleasant thing,

It gives the belly ease,

It warms the bed in winter,

And suffocates the fleas.


A fart can be quiet,

A fart can be loud,

Some leave a powerful,

Poisonous cloud


A fart can be short,

Or a fart can be long,

Some farts have been known

To sound like a song...


A fart can create

A most curious medley,

A fart can be harmless,

Or silent, and deadly.


A fart might not smell,

While others are vile,

A fart may pass quickly,

Or linger a while...


A fart can occur

In a number of places,

And leave every one there,

With strange looks on their faces.


From wide-open prairie,

To small elevators,

A fart will find all of

Us sooner or later.


But farts are all bad,

Is simply not true-

We must never forget...

Sweet old farts like you!


Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?
 
My poor dog....she is afraid of farts!

we are a gassy family and everytime someone farts the poor dog shoots up and barks and runs like the wind...she is a min pin...a 5LB dog

she makes me laugh so hard i almost pee my pants
 
Many of you know we moved this past weekend. My son usually farts very loudly with no result in the smell department. We had 11 people helping us move. We were in the hallway when this TERRIBLE odor hit everyone at once. Immediately Ken blames the cat box and gives me a dirty look. The smell passes. Then again it hits us and everyone almost gags. Again the dirty look at me about my cats. I notice my son is standing far away with a box in his hands. I hollered "IT WAS YOU!" He says Yep that was me.

He proceeded to go around the entire house farting his SPD's and gagging everyone to the point we all needed an outside break. Danged kid was proud!
 
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