Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You? - Page 171

I want that farm! if the get chickens from the trees I want to find out if they have money growing on trees!

My wife isn't the garden-girl outdoor type. I got her in the

city.

Last year I planted some sort of pepper plant that looked

like a buckeye. (Ohio's state tree)

Convinced my wife that they were indeed, little buckeye trees.

I planted them here and there in the yard. She would go out

and look at them, talk about them.

And yes, she was mad at me in the end.

Today a buddy & I were out riding. We stopped in a driveway for not too long to get out of the sun as this driveway has some HUGE apples trees in the drive. Note we only rode into the not very big drive just enough to get off the road, & ive parked there before, & my horses have never pooed in this particular drive. Well this particular person has 2 dogs & isnt very nice (last year she literally laughed at me & another friend when we handed her a poster asking if she had seen my cat who had been missing for around 2 months). Well because her dogs were barking she came out & read us the right act about how not to park our "dogs" in the drive because she would have to pick up the "dog poop" later. I was trying so hard to not to laugh that, before we left,  I forgot to mention that if my horses do leave manure in a drive or somewhere similar where someone would mind I go back later with a bucket & rake. Im pretty sure she is as city slicker as they get. Sad thing is she lives in a horsey area & was completely serious. Not sure whether to & or & . I know we were technically in the wrong but still. Pretty darn sad if she cant tell the difference between an Akita (her dogs) & a 15.3-16.1h QH (the one my friend was riding). Thats just as bad a someone mistaking a silkie for a cat xP.

I am a volunteer at a zoo, and one day we had a big event. My part was manning a table with biofacts on it, and talking to the visitors about them. Just to clarify, biofacts are parts from animals that have died. Horns, shells, skulls, teeth, paws, etc. Everything was going well until this young lady comes up to our table and loudly exclaims; "Oh my gosh, you murdered all these animals!"

That's right, we are a zoo, and we murder animals to give you and up close and personal view of the live ones on display. @@ I had to keep a straight face and explain in little words that the biofacts come from animals that died of natural causes. As a zoo, we love animals, and take excellent care of them. We certainly don't murder them just to show you a skull. 

Oh my gosh that woman.. I wouldve lost and said in a stiff tone, "We dont murder our animals, Humans who announce we do on the other hand...." LOl !!

Okay, this isnt a 'city slicker' story, but rather a Very funny story. But he actually raises cow s and goats for meat

So I was walking with my friend (he was a dude- a very important part of the story.) So, bored, I started to bring up the topic of neutering goats.

"....So they either can band them, by getting a little rubber band and put it on the scrotum until it falls off" I said. He stared at me wide eyed, and tapped his friend and repeated what I said. I couldnt help but laugh. "Or they can crush it" (i wasnt explainging it very well...LOL) "Or they can do surgery" And the last thing he said was "Oh gosh... it hurts..."

Quote:

Originally Posted by CochinBrahmaLover 

Oh my gosh that woman.. I wouldve lost and said in a stiff tone, "We dont murder our animals, Humans who announce we do on the other hand...." LOl !!

 

Okay, this isnt a 'city slicker' story, but rather a Very funny story. But he actually raises cow s and goats for meat

 

So I was walking with my friend (he was a dude- a very important part of the story.) So, bored, I started to bring up the topic of neutering goats.

 

"....So they either can band them, by getting a little rubber band and put it on the scrotum until it falls off" I said. He stared at me wide eyed, and tapped his friend and repeated what I said. I couldnt help but laugh. "Or they can crush it" (i wasnt explainging it very well...LOL) "Or they can do surgery" And the last thing he said was "Oh gosh... it hurts..."

Well...I wouldn't be one to mention the subject of "Vasectomies".....

perhaps.... someone else.....MIGHT mention that.

BE PREPARED !!!

THE CURMUDGEON

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE Curmudgeon 

Well...I wouldn't be one to mention the subject of "Vasectomies".....

perhaps.... someone else.....MIGHT mention that.

 

BE PREPARED !!!

 

THE CURMUDGEON

LOL !

I wanted to make him cringe. Did it work? Well, did you read the last sentence of the story, LOL!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by cassie 

Try to be a little more compassionate and less judgemental. Just remember, nobody knows everything. And that includes you.

sorryto all people

Spook have you seen the homemade reese cup type candy that's called a buck eye because it looks like the nut you where referring to? You should have told you DW you where growing that kind of candy that is why the plants where so small.... yes I am a little evil...

Spook lives in Ohio...knows all about buckeye candy.

Tasty...

But my wife is so easy...I had the township deliver some dirt today

for a project. They are cleaning the roadside ditches, needing

somewhere to dump the stuff.

My wife asked what was going on.

I told her I had been to a yard sale, and bought the yard.