Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

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I once worked at the state fair giving tours of the livestock barns and working at the birthing center. Once, a man asked me, "What is that cushion that cow is laying on?" Uh...that's her UDDER.
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Then, a guy once pointed to a piglet I was holding and said he knew that one was a girl. I asked how he knew, and he said "because it has nipples." I pointed to the piglet's testicles and said, "Don't you have nipples?"
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At the Farmer's Market someone thought I must feed the hens that lay the green eggs algea because that was the only way they could come in that color. I had to explain all the hens eat the same thing and some lay green while the others lay white or brown eggs depending on the breed of chicken.
 
Don't believe that girl! She's lying! White chickens lay white eggs, brown chickens lay brown and of COURSE green chickens lay green eggs! End of story!

Ouch, that hurt a little bit.
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So many city people told me with total confidence that turkeys are so stupid, when it rains they look up and gape and drown! Drown! So stupid! Many of them got defensive when explained that was not true..... even the ones that never saw a turkey in person.
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There was a power line pole in back of our yard at the old house. Free range chickens peafowl etc. Guy came to do some work on it one day.. he looked at a peacock that came up to check him out- an adult male, blue neck, long green tail.. pointed at him and asked "what is that?"
 
Ok, two funny stories:

First, I told one of my coworkers once that I had "hatched some of my chicks myself". Thinking I kept them in a warm pocket of my shirt or something, he asked, "How do you keep from rolling over on them at night?"

Second, not something someone else said, but still funny: I was at the state fair with my mom and we saw some really cute baby goats. I said, "Ohmigod, I think I'm lactating!" and some guy behind us nearly fainted.
 
Sadly this little story involves just myself (a city slicker - trying to live the country life).
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Before I got my girls while researching I kept seeing comments about "roll away nests" and I thought how strange why would anybody need a portable nest box....It wasn't until a few months ago I came across an ad for "roll away nests" and after reading the description...."The eggs are laid and immediately roll away from the bird and under the egg cover. ..." did I relize what they were.
 

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