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will I survive raising my 16 year old daughter...

post #1 of 60
Thread Starter 

I have one daughter 18 made it thru her ... but my 16 year old is driving e nuts... she doesn't think anything bad can happent to her... how do I make her see that it can?That the  world is not a safe place for a young girl... she trusts everyone... I have lost 50 yrs off of my life for the things she has done in the last year..................Help mom in need of some sanity

post #2 of 60

Im sorry you are having a hard time.  When I was that age you couldn't tell me anything.  I was a teenager that knew it all and everyone else was dumb as a box of rocks.  I was 25 before I realized that Momma was right roll

I don't know your situation but maybe you can be sneaky and set up something that only you know if safe and let her learn the hard way.   Let her see that the things she does can lead to horrible outcomes.  Being sneaky is kinda bad but if it saves her life it is worth it.

A real friend knows you are a good egg even if you are a little cracked!
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A real friend knows you are a good egg even if you are a little cracked!
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post #3 of 60

My daughter was kinda like that too. I know how you feel, but there is no magic way without a prescription that will get you through hugs
I have just been so thankful i only had the one child to shorten MY years barnie
Looking back i see she was not so bad because all her wonderful qualities out-weigh the stress from that one area. But she trusted way too much too. Sometime it felt like she trusted anyone that was NOT us who loved her the most hit
But we got through it, and so will you. We raise them and teach them all we can to ready them for the world. But they all have different ways about them.

"Sometimes when we expect the worst, we forget to Hope for the Best"
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"Sometimes when we expect the worst, we forget to Hope for the Best"
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post #4 of 60

that is so easy
make her watch the news and read the obituary
some states and communities have programs where you can actually have your teen visit a mortuary and a prison and they can talk to the inmates that have been chosen to speak to teens that are in trouble
it is sort of like a scared straight program
there really is lots of programs available
email me if you want and maybe i can help you find one
good luck
im at war with my 16 year old as well
her thing is that she wants money for nothing
and has no value of a dollar
it is all my fault

post #5 of 60

"her thing is that she wants money for nothing
and has no value of a dollar
it is all my fault"

Is that my daughter u r taking about??only she is 17 and going to be a senior in HS and knows everything and I am stupid.

She has no idea of the "real" world and her dad is enabling her and I am pi**ed off.
soooo good luck to all of us!!!he

Grrrrr!!!!
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Grrrrr!!!!
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post #6 of 60

Ok, bend down, put your head between your knees, breath deeply,, did you know that position make it almost impossible to breath at all,, let alone deeply?

Now, not knowing what your daughter is doing makes it a little hard to give you advice but I can tell you my thoughts and methods. I have a niece I raised for a lot of years but is now back under the lack of control of her parents. She is the sister of my nephew that is in the Navy now. When she was with me I was pretty strict on her because she has a streak of invincibility in her too. My brother and SIL have no control over her but I have a little peace of mind in knowing that I taught her self-defense, and she's also an excellent shot but hopefully will never be in the position of defending herself with a gun.
I would suggest meeting your daughter close to the halfway point and tell her flat out "Ok, you don't believe me when I tell you the world can be an ugly place? Fine, but if you want to run around and get into things that are dangerous and trust people you shouldn't then you are going to know how to take care of yourself." Enroll her in a self-defense class, go with her yourself, maybe include the 18 year old too as a back up. During the classes they tell you exactly why you need to learn self-defense, they tell you and show some pretty ugly facts of life.
Don't try and make her afraid of everyone she meets, or have her unable to trust anyone, but give her the tools she needs to take care of herself to the best of her ability.

If you aren't living for something, you are dying for nothing.

Don't trouble Trouble until Trouble troubles you!
My lady be wary and heed to the lines of this verse: To let a fool kiss you is stupid, to let a kiss fool you is worse.

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If you aren't living for something, you are dying for nothing.

Don't trouble Trouble until Trouble troubles you!
My lady be wary and heed to the lines of this verse: To let a fool kiss you is stupid, to let a kiss fool you is worse.

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post #7 of 60

some dads are like that
when my husband started that crap with our daughter i told him fine you deal with it
i went into my bedroom packed my suitcase and went on a vacation
with in a day they were begging me back
of course i took an entire two weeks
i have destroyed my my teen but she is actually a good smart girl
she just needs everything handed to her

post #8 of 60

Chixie -

Have her call me.  Seriously.  I'm now in my 40's, but I grew up in a wealthy family.  We had everything.  Everything.  I was in college (almost 21) and I was invincible.  I told my parents to back off...I KNEW...I knew!!!  I knew it all.

February 1990 all that changed.  This bad man http://offender.fdle.state.fl.us/offender/flyer.do?personId=9557  tought me I didn't really know it all.

I use this information to educate young people on staying safe.  Maybe showing this to her will help  :-)

Don't let this be a thread killer....my life is SO good, and I have no complaints!

One Norwegian Fjord,  4 British Shorthair cats, One darling husband............and getting ready to start a new life in N.C. mountains (summer 2014 when youngest graduates from high school).

 

..............and (drum roll)...........one brand new Papillon puppy who joined us in November!!

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One Norwegian Fjord,  4 British Shorthair cats, One darling husband............and getting ready to start a new life in N.C. mountains (summer 2014 when youngest graduates from high school).

 

..............and (drum roll)...........one brand new Papillon puppy who joined us in November!!

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post #9 of 60

My daughter is 14 and its already starting, She wants pocket money just for keeping her room clean(which is never clean) She has dancing 3 nights a week(so far that has kept her ocupied and out of trouble) but now she wants to go out on thursday nights( a dancing night) to late night shopping and the pictures. She sits on her computer for hours talking to the same people she has spent all day at school with, she isn't doing her assignments, she has been given two non award warnings this year already( a non award is when she doesn't complete a task) seems to think school is for socialising not for learning. She used to be so good, but now she is cheeky. Her favourite saying is "wat ev" (What ever) and she says this to nearly everything I say or ask her to do.

I take her computer of her for weeks at a time but nothing changed. she's been told that if she gets another non award she'll have her computer taken off her for ever. and I plan to stick to this.

I know there is worse to come as she is only 14 and a half.

I don't think she'll be a drinker thank goodness because she has seen 2 of her uncles affected by being alcoholics,(one recently died at age 36). I've had the talk to her about sex and boys.

Does anyone have any advice for me on getting through the next 5 years ?
I'm really starting to worry about her.

1 Hubby, 1 daughter, 1 son, 1 cat, 2 guinea pigs and 3 Bantam Hens named Dipsy, Fiffie and Darna & now 5 silkies hatched by Fiffie and Darna!
http://www.backyardchickens.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=186559&p=1
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1 Hubby, 1 daughter, 1 son, 1 cat, 2 guinea pigs and 3 Bantam Hens named Dipsy, Fiffie and Darna & now 5 silkies hatched by Fiffie and Darna!
http://www.backyardchickens.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=186559&p=1
Reply
post #10 of 60

How much is pocket money may I ask?
I already feel sorry for the man that marries my daughter

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