>
>SOUTHERN WOMEN
>
>
>Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
>Clean skin.
>A winning smile.
>That unforgettable Southern drawl.
>
>Southern women know their manners:
>"Yes, ma'am."
>"Yes, sir."
>"Why, no, Billy!"
>
>Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
>"Y'all come back!"
>"Well, bless your heart."
>"Drop by when you can."
>"How 's your Momma?"
>
>
>Southern women know their summer weather report:
>Humidity
>Humidity
>Humidity
>
>Southern women know their vacation spots:
>The beach
>The rivuh
>The crick
>
>Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
>Colorful hi-heel sandals
>Strapless sun dresses
>Iced sweet tea with mint
>
>Southern women know everybody's first name:
>Honey
>Darlin'
>Shugah
>
>Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
>Fried Green Tomatoes
>Driving Miss Daisy
>Steel Magnolias
>Gone With The Wind
>
>Southern women know their religions:
>Baptist
>Methodist
>Football
>
>Southern women know their country breakfasts:
>Red-eye gravy
>Grits
>Eggs
>Country ham
>Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
>
>Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
>Chawl'stn
>S'vanah
>Foat Wuth
>N'awlins
>Addlanna
>
>Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
>Men in uniform.
>Men in tuxedos
>Rhett Butler
>
>Southern girls know their prime real estate:
>The Mall
>The Country Club
>The Beauty Salon
>
>Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
>Having bad hair and nails
>Having bad manners
>Cooking bad food
>
>More Suthen-ism's:
>Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
>conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
>_____
>
>Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas,
>beans, etc., make up "a mess. "
>_____
>
>Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
>"yonder."
>_____
>
>Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to
>town, be back directly."
>_____
>
>Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the
>white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
>middle of the table.
>_____
>
>All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the
>term, but they know the concept well.
>_____
>
>Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a
>neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl
>of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also
>know to add a large banana puddin!
>_____
>
>Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a
>right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or
>20.
>_____
>
>Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
>redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
>_____
>
>No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
>signal is actually going to make a turn.
>_____
>
>A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
>adverb.
>_____
>
>Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're
>"in line," . we talk to everybody!
>_____
>
>Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
>related, even if only by marriage.
>_____
>
>In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
>_____
>
>Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
>_____
>
>Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
>perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
>fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
>_____
>
>When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you
>are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
>_____
>
>Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates
>the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.
>"Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
>_____
>
>And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
>ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ...
>and go your own way.
>_____
>
>To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
>Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
>morning. Bless your heart!
>_____
>And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this
>Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have
>classes on Southernness as a second language!
>_____
>
>And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
>time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I
>ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
>
>
>Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!
>
>Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish
>they had been!
>
>If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
>We know you got here as fast as you could
>
>SOUTHERN WOMEN
>
>
>Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
>Clean skin.
>A winning smile.
>That unforgettable Southern drawl.
>
>Southern women know their manners:
>"Yes, ma'am."
>"Yes, sir."
>"Why, no, Billy!"
>
>Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
>"Y'all come back!"
>"Well, bless your heart."
>"Drop by when you can."
>"How 's your Momma?"
>
>
>Southern women know their summer weather report:
>Humidity
>Humidity
>Humidity
>
>Southern women know their vacation spots:
>The beach
>The rivuh
>The crick
>
>Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
>Colorful hi-heel sandals
>Strapless sun dresses
>Iced sweet tea with mint
>
>Southern women know everybody's first name:
>Honey
>Darlin'
>Shugah
>
>Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
>Fried Green Tomatoes
>Driving Miss Daisy
>Steel Magnolias
>Gone With The Wind
>
>Southern women know their religions:
>Baptist
>Methodist
>Football
>
>Southern women know their country breakfasts:
>Red-eye gravy
>Grits
>Eggs
>Country ham
>Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
>
>Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
>Chawl'stn
>S'vanah
>Foat Wuth
>N'awlins
>Addlanna
>
>Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
>Men in uniform.
>Men in tuxedos
>Rhett Butler
>
>Southern girls know their prime real estate:
>The Mall
>The Country Club
>The Beauty Salon
>
>Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
>Having bad hair and nails
>Having bad manners
>Cooking bad food
>
>More Suthen-ism's:
>Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
>conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
>_____
>
>Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas,
>beans, etc., make up "a mess. "
>_____
>
>Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
>"yonder."
>_____
>
>Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to
>town, be back directly."
>_____
>
>Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the
>white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
>middle of the table.
>_____
>
>All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the
>term, but they know the concept well.
>_____
>
>Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a
>neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl
>of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also
>know to add a large banana puddin!
>_____
>
>Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a
>right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or
>20.
>_____
>
>Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
>redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
>_____
>
>No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
>signal is actually going to make a turn.
>_____
>
>A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
>adverb.
>_____
>
>Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're
>"in line," . we talk to everybody!
>_____
>
>Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
>related, even if only by marriage.
>_____
>
>In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
>_____
>
>Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
>_____
>
>Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
>perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
>fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
>_____
>
>When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you
>are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
>_____
>
>Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates
>the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.
>"Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
>_____
>
>And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
>ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ...
>and go your own way.
>_____
>
>To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
>Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
>morning. Bless your heart!
>_____
>And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this
>Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have
>classes on Southernness as a second language!
>_____
>
>And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
>time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I
>ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
>
>
>Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!
>
>Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish
>they had been!
>
>If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
>We know you got here as fast as you could
>
