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Sometimes we're born into the wrong family **long** - Page 2

post #11 of 151

I am so sorry you are going through this. I understand about not wanting to put them out of your life. You are not horrible you are an awesome woman. Take care of your husband and child and your animals and just pray for them. I agree send them cards for holidays and birthdays. I don't know what else to say. But I am sending you lot's of hugs. hugshugshugshugshugshugshugs

Have wonderful Husband of almost 25 yrs. 25 yr old daughter, 23 yr old son, 2 cats, 4 dogs, 5 goats, and 19 Hens, 3 Roosters and 9 guinea's. My Dh made me get rid of the other 8 guinea's but I will get more. LOL
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Have wonderful Husband of almost 25 yrs. 25 yr old daughter, 23 yr old son, 2 cats, 4 dogs, 5 goats, and 19 Hens, 3 Roosters and 9 guinea's. My Dh made me get rid of the other 8 guinea's but I will get more. LOL
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post #12 of 151

I was raised in a house full of sex, drugs and violence. I left as soon as I turned 18 and didn't call my mother for 3 years. Looking back it was the right choice and the only way I stayed sane. I talk to my mother now, but I keep it short and sweet and back off if she starts getting out of hand.
You can't change your family, only how you react to them.

horses, chinchillas, guinea pigs, dogs, cats, turtles and now 14 chickens

My blog: http://bohlanderbrood.blogspot.com/
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horses, chinchillas, guinea pigs, dogs, cats, turtles and now 14 chickens

My blog: http://bohlanderbrood.blogspot.com/
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post #13 of 151

I totally get not having $ for gifts and sending cards.

We had a similar situation this year for Christmas, I suggested that we set a super low limit for some thing small.  $5  The ones that had the least to spend on others had the biggest fit.  I have no problem giving just a card, but I also expect back just a card and let people know in advance that I can only afford a card.  Then if they are upset, it is their own doing, they were warned

post #14 of 151

Thankfully you have a great husband and the where wirh all to see through the mess.  Even though you love your family, it doe NOT mean you owe them anything.  I see that you have the  heart and caring that came with your soul and not with your upbringing.  Give your all to your husband and those that are there for you.  If and when your bio family comes around be strong. Stay in sight of your young relatives but do not fall prey to the spiritual emotional vampires.  The young ones will seek you out as a strong influence as did mine.  hugs

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye."  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Wanna be farmer, wife to DH Mike, two rescued mutts Hazel and Nigel and 8 TSC chicks 4 red somethings and 4 BSLs? they are what they are!
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"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye."  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Wanna be farmer, wife to DH Mike, two rescued mutts Hazel and Nigel and 8 TSC chicks 4 red somethings and 4 BSLs? they are what they are!
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post #15 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carols Clucks 

I totally get not having $ for gifts and sending cards.

We had a similar situation this year for Christmas, I suggested that we set a super low limit for some thing small.  $5  The ones that had the least to spend on others had the biggest fit.  I have no problem giving just a card, but I also expect back just a card and let people know in advance that I can only afford a card.  Then if they are upset, it is their own doing, they were warned


Unfortuantely I was the one that had the fit last year.  My brother and I always exchanged gifts.  ALWAYS.  Every year I get them something and him a bottle of wine with a funny name.  Been doing this for years.  Last year he got us nothing.  Like a petulant child I kept the bottle of wine.  lol Stinker.  They are NOT broke either.

Craptastic.
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Craptastic.
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post #16 of 151

There is a reason you can pick your friends, there is also a reason that we have caller ID on phones and Facebook has an unfriend and block button.


I agree!

You might want to consider having a few sessions with a counselor and then just consider your in-laws as your real family.

"If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny" - Thomas Jefferson
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"If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny" - Thomas Jefferson
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post #17 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by debiraymond 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carols Clucks 

I totally get not having $ for gifts and sending cards.

We had a similar situation this year for Christmas, I suggested that we set a super low limit for some thing small.  $5  The ones that had the least to spend on others had the biggest fit.  I have no problem giving just a card, but I also expect back just a card and let people know in advance that I can only afford a card.  Then if they are upset, it is their own doing, they were warned


Unfortuantely I was the one that had the fit last year.  My brother and I always exchanged gifts.  ALWAYS.  Every year I get them something and him a bottle of wine with a funny name.  Been doing this for years.  Last year he got us nothing.  Like a petulant child I kept the bottle of wine.  lol Stinker.  They are NOT broke either.


Hehehe...I hope you enjoyed the bottle of wine!  My x was the one who was most upset, the kids usually go out of their way to spend extra on him and he can't afford the same back.  Next most upset was the son who was unemployed.....I think he was banking on selling his gifts.

post #18 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carols Clucks 
Quote:
Originally Posted by debiraymond 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carols Clucks 

I totally get not having $ for gifts and sending cards.

We had a similar situation this year for Christmas, I suggested that we set a super low limit for some thing small.  $5  The ones that had the least to spend on others had the biggest fit.  I have no problem giving just a card, but I also expect back just a card and let people know in advance that I can only afford a card.  Then if they are upset, it is their own doing, they were warned


Unfortuantely I was the one that had the fit last year.  My brother and I always exchanged gifts.  ALWAYS.  Every year I get them something and him a bottle of wine with a funny name.  Been doing this for years.  Last year he got us nothing.  Like a petulant child I kept the bottle of wine.  lol Stinker.  They are NOT broke either.


Hehehe...I hope you enjoyed the bottle of wine!  My x was the one who was most upset, the kids usually go out of their way to spend extra on him and he can't afford the same back.  Next most upset was the son who was unemployed.....I think he was banking on selling his gifts.


lol  I still have the wine.  I would understand if they were broke.  They are so far from broke it ain't even funny.

Craptastic.
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Craptastic.
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post #19 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by debiraymond 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carols Clucks 
Quote:
Originally Posted by debiraymond 


Unfortuantely I was the one that had the fit last year.  My brother and I always exchanged gifts.  ALWAYS.  Every year I get them something and him a bottle of wine with a funny name.  Been doing this for years.  Last year he got us nothing.  Like a petulant child I kept the bottle of wine.  lol Stinker.  They are NOT broke either.


Hehehe...I hope you enjoyed the bottle of wine!  My x was the one who was most upset, the kids usually go out of their way to spend extra on him and he can't afford the same back.  Next most upset was the son who was unemployed.....I think he was banking on selling his gifts.


lol  I still have the wine.  I would understand if they were broke.  They are so far from broke it ain't even funny.


Enjoy it yourself...toast them and have a second glass  big_smile

post #20 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carols Clucks 
Quote:
Originally Posted by debiraymond 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carols Clucks 


Hehehe...I hope you enjoyed the bottle of wine!  My x was the one who was most upset, the kids usually go out of their way to spend extra on him and he can't afford the same back.  Next most upset was the son who was unemployed.....I think he was banking on selling his gifts.


lol  I still have the wine.  I would understand if they were broke.  They are so far from broke it ain't even funny.


Enjoy it yourself...toast them and have a second glass  big_smile


I should probably send it to OP.  She is having the same issues I am at the moment.

Craptastic.
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Craptastic.
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