Bless your heart, of course it hurts! Especially when it is your Mom, the person who is supposed to be wired to nurture you forever. I can only relate to this as being a series of small funerals with every time that your mother is hurtful to you. I can see that you would be grieving each and every time that another part of your relationship dies. That is how I felt in a similar situation with one of my family when they were still a part of my life. Now that they are no longer in my life, I have been able to "get over them". Yes, I grieved, but I have also healed from my loss too. It has taken a long time, but I am there. I still miss him, but, well, I don't miss all the turmoil and pain.
That is exactly how it feels.
Kara - home to 1 smart dog, 1 hyper puppy, 3 lazy cats, and 32 crazy chickens...oh, and a 13 year old kid and a husband thrown in there for good measure.