Once again, I want to thank everyone for their kind words and support. I didn't realize when I posted this thread that I would get such a response. There really are quite a few of us here that have gone through the same thing (or similar) in our lives, huh? It does go to show that some of us are born into the wrong families...or maybe not, b/c we probably wouldn't be the people we are now if it weren't for what we went through.
(((((((hugs))))))) to everyone!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!! I wish no one on earth had to go through this!
I think I will check out an Al-anon group. It would be nice to have someone to talk to IRL that knew what I was talking about and how I was feeling. I had a huge cry last night, and I tried my best not to cry in front of my husband b/c he just doesn't get it. He tries to help, but it usually just....well, doesn't. I can't say much, though. He had a breakdown the day we moved (massive financial stress) and I panicked. I didn't know what to do, so I just called up his sister and said "OMG, I don't know what to do!!" haha She was nice and took off an extra half of a day and came to help us pack the truck. I was absolutely no help to my husband when he needed me.
PLEASE buy Toxic Parents. I'll buy it for you if need be, but you must read it. There is so much that applies to your situation. I still pull it out and read various chapters when I need to remind myself to stay healthy and strong. The thing you just said above about not being able to help your husband is a perfect example of how all this dysfunction infiltrates your life. I am divorced now, but I know I did damage to my marriage because of my "issues". It's very important for you to be whole and at peace with yourself in order for you to be a good role model in the family, your direct family I mean; husband/kids.
I'm glad you got a supportive response from people who understand; we are out here. I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to PM me.