I don't remember leaving you for some other harlot, Em.
As I recall, it was something like the other way around,
little Miss Floozie.
We had been carrying on something terrible. You led me
on, deceived me. Promised me everything out of your oven,
including the oven.
And I set down one day, and my computer said "You have
It was that most awful "Dear John de Spook letter". You had
left me, fled the scene, and done runned off with some hick
farmer with a mouse nest in his beard.
You sent that same Dear John letter to me and seven other
fellers. It was like one of them there chain letters...
I swore right then that never again would I let some young
hussy break my heart.
And that's when I took up with the Dunkin Donut Grandma.
She's well past her wenching years, and she knows how to
treat a man.
I'd walk into her donut shop, my sheet and shining and pressed,
and she'd wink at me, reach under the counter and say "I got
a little something special for you Spook."
Grandma Cougar...that was her name, Mrs. Cougar, that old
Cougar woman taught me things I didn't know. She winked at
me every time she talked. I don't know if she was winking, or
could of been a twitch in her eye cause she was really really
old. About Bunnys age I think. Just old.
But now, Dear Em, do you really want to talk about who left
whom? You know I have the memory of an elephant. (and the
shape of an elephant perhaps)
Oh, them were dark days until I saw the neon lights of Old Mrs.
Cougars Donut Shop.