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Writing a story in a chicken's eyes! UPDATE Pg. 75! - Page 64

post #631 of 835
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdygal 

big_smile What a neat idea will you publish it?


Yep. big_smile

Momma to Amberlinks, Black Sexlinks, a White Leghorn, AL/RSL mixes, Cochins, Ameraucanas, Barred Rocks, Polish chicks and 1 sweet Silkie

Oh yeah, and him. That RSL called JASPER! LIKE Jasper on Facebook! www.facebook.com/jaspertherooster
Reply
Momma to Amberlinks, Black Sexlinks, a White Leghorn, AL/RSL mixes, Cochins, Ameraucanas, Barred Rocks, Polish chicks and 1 sweet Silkie

Oh yeah, and him. That RSL called JASPER! LIKE Jasper on Facebook! www.facebook.com/jaspertherooster
Reply
post #632 of 835
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickLover98 

Chapter ??

            Even though it only lasted a couple of minutes, it seems like eternity!  Flower held me down, even harder, her sharp claws, piercing into my skin.  I want to yell out in pain, but why give Flower the satisfaction?
            "Cloudy!  Do you need us to help you?" I hear Lilly call out to me.
            Yes, in fact, I do.  But, I really don't want to involve my friends, taking a risk that they could get hurt.  That would be the worst thing, and I would never forgive myself.
             Plus, my pride and ego won't accept help.  I want to fight my own battles, thank you very much!
             "Cloudy?" Onyx yells, concern in his voice.  I can't die now, especially not in front of Nyx!  Help!
             "I'm... Fine..." I choke out.  That's a lie.
              I twist my body, but Flower's claws dig deeper into my wings.  There's not much I can do now, laying on my back.  I stare up at Flower's angry face.  She's snarling and she looks so gruesome. 
              "Give it up.  It's no use to fight back," Flower snarls.
              "No!" I yell, defiantly.
              She just rolls her eyes at me.
              "Ok then," she says, putting all of her weight on my wings.  It hurts like nothing has ever hurt before. 
              I cringe and I know that there's nothing that I can do.  I'm going to die.  I see blood pouring out of my left wing and I start to panic.  I look frantically back and forth.  I feel like screaming and kicking, but that would just make Flower angrier.  This really is the end, isn't it?  Please, make it fast!
              I close my eyes, ready to give up. 
              "Cloudy, don't give up!  You can do it!" Primrose cheers.
              "Please, Clouds," Onyx encourages.
              "I..." I squeak.
              "Don't worry!  I'll help you!" Onyx yells to me.
              "No, Nyx, please!" I suddenly call out.  I don't want him involved,  He's going to think I'm a wimp if I don't do this on my own.  Can things get any worse?

((MORE TO COME AFTER HOMEWORK))


Please don't tell me you STILL haven't finished your homework! tongue

Finally! Chickens!!!     Member of the Derperella Club!
My BYC best friends are polishchickens111, ChickenPeep, and willowbranchfarm!

I am the Magical Avian Emperor Mr. Lord King Sir! BOW TO ME or be captured by the evil empire of apples! (Don't be fooled, I'm a girl)

 

 

Reply

Finally! Chickens!!!     Member of the Derperella Club!
My BYC best friends are polishchickens111, ChickenPeep, and willowbranchfarm!

I am the Magical Avian Emperor Mr. Lord King Sir! BOW TO ME or be captured by the evil empire of apples! (Don't be fooled, I'm a girl)

 

 

Reply
post #633 of 835
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdies 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickLover98 

Chapter ??

            Even though it only lasted a couple of minutes, it seems like eternity!  Flower held me down, even harder, her sharp claws, piercing into my skin.  I want to yell out in pain, but why give Flower the satisfaction?
            "Cloudy!  Do you need us to help you?" I hear Lilly call out to me.
            Yes, in fact, I do.  But, I really don't want to involve my friends, taking a risk that they could get hurt.  That would be the worst thing, and I would never forgive myself.
             Plus, my pride and ego won't accept help.  I want to fight my own battles, thank you very much!
             "Cloudy?" Onyx yells, concern in his voice.  I can't die now, especially not in front of Nyx!  Help!
             "I'm... Fine..." I choke out.  That's a lie.
              I twist my body, but Flower's claws dig deeper into my wings.  There's not much I can do now, laying on my back.  I stare up at Flower's angry face.  She's snarling and she looks so gruesome. 
              "Give it up.  It's no use to fight back," Flower snarls.
              "No!" I yell, defiantly.
              She just rolls her eyes at me.
              "Ok then," she says, putting all of her weight on my wings.  It hurts like nothing has ever hurt before. 
              I cringe and I know that there's nothing that I can do.  I'm going to die.  I see blood pouring out of my left wing and I start to panic.  I look frantically back and forth.  I feel like screaming and kicking, but that would just make Flower angrier.  This really is the end, isn't it?  Please, make it fast!
              I close my eyes, ready to give up. 
              "Cloudy, don't give up!  You can do it!" Primrose cheers.
              "Please, Clouds," Onyx encourages.
              "I..." I squeak.
              "Don't worry!  I'll help you!" Onyx yells to me.
              "No, Nyx, please!" I suddenly call out.  I don't want him involved,  He's going to think I'm a wimp if I don't do this on my own.  Can things get any worse?

((MORE TO COME AFTER HOMEWORK))


Please don't tell me you STILL haven't finished your homework! tongue


I did, but it got erased after a computer malfunction.

Momma to Amberlinks, Black Sexlinks, a White Leghorn, AL/RSL mixes, Cochins, Ameraucanas, Barred Rocks, Polish chicks and 1 sweet Silkie

Oh yeah, and him. That RSL called JASPER! LIKE Jasper on Facebook! www.facebook.com/jaspertherooster
Reply
Momma to Amberlinks, Black Sexlinks, a White Leghorn, AL/RSL mixes, Cochins, Ameraucanas, Barred Rocks, Polish chicks and 1 sweet Silkie

Oh yeah, and him. That RSL called JASPER! LIKE Jasper on Facebook! www.facebook.com/jaspertherooster
Reply
post #634 of 835
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickLover98 
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdies 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickLover98 

Chapter ??

            Even though it only lasted a couple of minutes, it seems like eternity!  Flower held me down, even harder, her sharp claws, piercing into my skin.  I want to yell out in pain, but why give Flower the satisfaction?
            "Cloudy!  Do you need us to help you?" I hear Lilly call out to me.
            Yes, in fact, I do.  But, I really don't want to involve my friends, taking a risk that they could get hurt.  That would be the worst thing, and I would never forgive myself.
             Plus, my pride and ego won't accept help.  I want to fight my own battles, thank you very much!
             "Cloudy?" Onyx yells, concern in his voice.  I can't die now, especially not in front of Nyx!  Help!
             "I'm... Fine..." I choke out.  That's a lie.
              I twist my body, but Flower's claws dig deeper into my wings.  There's not much I can do now, laying on my back.  I stare up at Flower's angry face.  She's snarling and she looks so gruesome. 
              "Give it up.  It's no use to fight back," Flower snarls.
              "No!" I yell, defiantly.
              She just rolls her eyes at me.
              "Ok then," she says, putting all of her weight on my wings.  It hurts like nothing has ever hurt before. 
              I cringe and I know that there's nothing that I can do.  I'm going to die.  I see blood pouring out of my left wing and I start to panic.  I look frantically back and forth.  I feel like screaming and kicking, but that would just make Flower angrier.  This really is the end, isn't it?  Please, make it fast!
              I close my eyes, ready to give up. 
              "Cloudy, don't give up!  You can do it!" Primrose cheers.
              "Please, Clouds," Onyx encourages.
              "I..." I squeak.
              "Don't worry!  I'll help you!" Onyx yells to me.
              "No, Nyx, please!" I suddenly call out.  I don't want him involved,  He's going to think I'm a wimp if I don't do this on my own.  Can things get any worse?

((MORE TO COME AFTER HOMEWORK))


Please don't tell me you STILL haven't finished your homework! tongue


I did, but it got erased after a computer malfunction.


Your homework?

Finally! Chickens!!!     Member of the Derperella Club!
My BYC best friends are polishchickens111, ChickenPeep, and willowbranchfarm!

I am the Magical Avian Emperor Mr. Lord King Sir! BOW TO ME or be captured by the evil empire of apples! (Don't be fooled, I'm a girl)

 

 

Reply

Finally! Chickens!!!     Member of the Derperella Club!
My BYC best friends are polishchickens111, ChickenPeep, and willowbranchfarm!

I am the Magical Avian Emperor Mr. Lord King Sir! BOW TO ME or be captured by the evil empire of apples! (Don't be fooled, I'm a girl)

 

 

Reply
post #635 of 835
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickLover98 
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdygal 

big_smile What a neat idea will you publish it?


Yep. big_smile


That is great. Where can you get it? celebrate

post #636 of 835
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdygal 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickLover98 
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdygal 

big_smile What a neat idea will you publish it?


Yep. big_smile


That is great. Where can you get it? celebrate


It`s not done yet. wink
And birdies... Not my homework, the other half of the chapter.

Momma to Amberlinks, Black Sexlinks, a White Leghorn, AL/RSL mixes, Cochins, Ameraucanas, Barred Rocks, Polish chicks and 1 sweet Silkie

Oh yeah, and him. That RSL called JASPER! LIKE Jasper on Facebook! www.facebook.com/jaspertherooster
Reply
Momma to Amberlinks, Black Sexlinks, a White Leghorn, AL/RSL mixes, Cochins, Ameraucanas, Barred Rocks, Polish chicks and 1 sweet Silkie

Oh yeah, and him. That RSL called JASPER! LIKE Jasper on Facebook! www.facebook.com/jaspertherooster
Reply
post #637 of 835

Oh no! I know how much losing work sucks... Good luck rewriting it... I bet it'll be even better the second time! wink

Nervous Newbie and instant Naked-Neck fan!
I have: Two parents, Two brothers, Two sisters, Four horses, Three dogs, Two cats, and twenty-something chickens~

Bowties and Stetsons are cool.
Reply
Nervous Newbie and instant Naked-Neck fan!
I have: Two parents, Two brothers, Two sisters, Four horses, Three dogs, Two cats, and twenty-something chickens~

Bowties and Stetsons are cool.
Reply
post #638 of 835

I will read it on if I have the time. I would rather buy the book so I can read as I walk, ride in car and in bed. That is when I get my reading done. I have to much to do on computer as is.  but we will see. I hope some other posters give you feed back. It is nice to receive. wink

post #639 of 835
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdygal 

I will read it on if I have the time. I would rather buy the book so I can read as I walk, ride in car and in bed. That is when I get my reading done. I have to much to do on computer as is.  but we will see. I hope some other posters give you feed back. It is nice to receive. wink


Thanks!  Yep, it'll be neat to read it when the book is out, too. big_smile

Momma to Amberlinks, Black Sexlinks, a White Leghorn, AL/RSL mixes, Cochins, Ameraucanas, Barred Rocks, Polish chicks and 1 sweet Silkie

Oh yeah, and him. That RSL called JASPER! LIKE Jasper on Facebook! www.facebook.com/jaspertherooster
Reply
Momma to Amberlinks, Black Sexlinks, a White Leghorn, AL/RSL mixes, Cochins, Ameraucanas, Barred Rocks, Polish chicks and 1 sweet Silkie

Oh yeah, and him. That RSL called JASPER! LIKE Jasper on Facebook! www.facebook.com/jaspertherooster
Reply
post #640 of 835

You sure you didn't kidnap my Blue Andalusian and curl her feathers? lol She looks just like the chicken in the cover, only the one on the cover is frizzled.

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