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My husband left me and the kids.

post #1 of 113
Thread Starter 

He's been battling alcoholism for years, trying to quit, etc, but it never stuck for very long. Now he says it's me that the problem. Says I complain about his drinking so much that he needs to drink to live with me. I told him I wouldn't be married to a falling down drunk that does the three p's anymore. So, he called from work on Friday and said he wasn't coming home. This is after, two weeks ago, he never came home and me, the kids, and his mom drove all night looking for him in a ditch somewhere and he had ended up stopping at a bar and getting so drunk he was drunk at noon the next day when we found him. Nice. He took off once before three years ago, same thing, alcohol. Said tonight when he came to pick up some stuff that I forced him to come home three years ago and he's been pretending to love me still all this time but he didn't. I will get over this, I still love him and I know it's the disease talking, but my poor babies. They're only 8 and 10. They want to know where Daddy is and why he won't come home. I told the 10 year old what was going on and she said she kind of had figured it out. But the 8 year old is too young, I think to tell the truth to yet. I cannot believe he didn't call us for three days. Actually, now that I've thought about it, I cannot love this man. I cannot love anyone who does this to his partner and kids.

"Until it crows, one never knows." -Me

 

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"Until it crows, one never knows." -Me

 

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post #2 of 113

Wow, what a tough deal.  Please know that you and your family are in my prayers

Kathy
Their, there.  They're not the same!
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Kathy
Their, there.  They're not the same!
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post #3 of 113

Do NOT let him continue to blame YOU and the children
for the problems he has.  Been there, done that.  Do
something for the children and you.  Try and succeed to
get on with your life.  How much harder could it be?

3 RI, 4 black sex links, 1 beautiful golden sex link, 3 leghorns, 3 EE's

Dental assistant for 32 years:  Chickens don't have teeth
                                                 Don't be a chicken!!!
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3 RI, 4 black sex links, 1 beautiful golden sex link, 3 leghorns, 3 EE's

Dental assistant for 32 years:  Chickens don't have teeth
                                                 Don't be a chicken!!!
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post #4 of 113

I can't begin to imagine the feelings your going through right now hugs

 Crested Ducks                     Common Chicken Practices          Learn more about Avian Influenza

 

 

Helen: Daria, do you have to look at everything in such a negative light?

Daria: Could you possibly be referring to the harsh light of reality?

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 Crested Ducks                     Common Chicken Practices          Learn more about Avian Influenza

 

 

Helen: Daria, do you have to look at everything in such a negative light?

Daria: Could you possibly be referring to the harsh light of reality?

Reply
post #5 of 113

Oh dear, I'm sorry for the pain you are going through on so many levels.  Prayers for all involved. If you need to talk, I'm a good listener.  Hugs.

Tammy - NPIP #113  Member-APA, ABA - WV State Representative, ASBC - WV State Representative, United Orpington Club.

Breeder and Exhibitor of Large Fowl and Bantam Orpingtons, and Bearded Silkies

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Tammy - NPIP #113  Member-APA, ABA - WV State Representative, ASBC - WV State Representative, United Orpington Club.

Breeder and Exhibitor of Large Fowl and Bantam Orpingtons, and Bearded Silkies

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post #6 of 113

hugs My Dad did the same thing to my Mom, me and my sisters several times.  Same thing: alcoholic.  Finally one day after he took his whole paycheck and gambled/drank it away and didn't come home for three days, he called.  My Mom told him not to bother coming home and that he'd better not try it either.  I *kinda* get where you're at with this, and I couldn't be sorrier for the situation and what it does to the kids.  I was only 2 1/2 when my Dad left and didn't come back. 

Sometimes you have to say enough is enough. You'll feel guilty, you'll second guess yourself, and it will be hard on the kids.  But when it comes to children living with an alcoholic that is as severe as you describe all the negative of having him gone will probably outweight the positives of having him home.  Then again, if he does come back there is always hope that you might, eventually get through to him.  I will be praying for you and your kids. fl

Training your dog will make you a better person.  Wife, Mother, Dog trainer.

The most important decision you make every day is what you choose to put in your mind ~ Chip Ingram
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Training your dog will make you a better person.  Wife, Mother, Dog trainer.

The most important decision you make every day is what you choose to put in your mind ~ Chip Ingram
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post #7 of 113

I wish you strength hugs

Proud member of APA, ABA, ASBC, MCCA, JBBA, LIPS.

Winner, Marans Chicken Club USA Egg contest Jan. 2013 Northeast Poultry Congress. My girls rock!

 

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Proud member of APA, ABA, ASBC, MCCA, JBBA, LIPS.

Winner, Marans Chicken Club USA Egg contest Jan. 2013 Northeast Poultry Congress. My girls rock!

 

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post #8 of 113

YOU CAN DO IT! hugs  hugs

3 RI, 4 black sex links, 1 beautiful golden sex link, 3 leghorns, 3 EE's

Dental assistant for 32 years:  Chickens don't have teeth
                                                 Don't be a chicken!!!
Reply
3 RI, 4 black sex links, 1 beautiful golden sex link, 3 leghorns, 3 EE's

Dental assistant for 32 years:  Chickens don't have teeth
                                                 Don't be a chicken!!!
Reply
post #9 of 113

I'm so very sorry you and your kids are dealing with this! Saying prayers for you tonight. Take care of those babies and yourself!

post #10 of 113

I'm sorry. I know that has to be tough. My mom stayed with my dad for over 60 years. I wish she had left him years ago and had a decent life of her own. We would have managed just fine. I wish you the best in getting the best for you and your kids. No one should have to live with a drunk.

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