Why do most people marry? - Page 18

People ultimately want shared experiences and a shared sense of purpose when they marry.  Unfortunately, there's a lot of spouses out there who simply want someone to take care of them and have no real desire to be friends with their partner much less go anywhere or do anything with them.  Those are also the people who are the most shocked when they discover their spouse is filing for divorce.  If your entire life revolves around YOUR job, YOUR hobbies, or YOUR friends, your spouse is going to be pretty lonely - especially if you split all your time at home between the bed, the television, and the computer and refuse to go out for an occasional meal or a even a walk around the neighborhood.

It's terribly lonely being single. Really there are a lot of reasons, but when you aren't married the loneliness can be overwhelming. "It's not good for man to be alone."

I'll tell you something much worse....being overwhelmingly lonely when you're NOT single. 

Well lots said and much is just wrong.  

So I'll add my thirty five cents. 

Love changes as we age and if we don't change things can happen.  

If you ask why I married DW I would tell you one thing.  If you ask why I'm married to DW I would tell you another.  I'm more mature now and some folks never grow up IMO. 

I told DS that when he chose a spouse to choose someone who will stick with him through good times and bad.   I told him I married DW because I knew she would stick with me in the bad times.   He asked DW why she married me  and then he commented ,  "I don't believe it Dad told me the same thing.". 

Now I knew DW was special because my car broke down in a snow storm and I had to walk in knee deep snow to my brothers a few miles away.  The girl I was seeing said she wasn't going with me but DW piped up and said "I'll go with you" and we walked together through un-plowed roads up to our knees in snow.  That was when I knew she was the one.  

Now I will also say this about a "higher power".  Most folks don't know diddley squat about  THE higher power.  If they did they wouldn't  use the term.  Most folks get whatever they think they know from hearsay.   Me I read what my God has to say about marriage.  Just like I love my kids and taught them what was right and would make them happy He teaches me.  I am free to listen or not and do it His way or not, but rest assured His way leads me to happiness in time and forever.  Not just a few months or years.  

Too, whatever your faith,  know what it is.  If you pick and choose what to believe and it's different than what you profess,  then your creating another faith.  

Now to answer the question "why do most people marry".   I can't say why anyone else gets married, but I do know MOST  people don't get married and many that do don't really know what they are doing. 

Love is what you have when the devil knocks on your door and you don't open it.     If you let him in then you never had love.     

I got married because I loved him, I enjoyed his company, and he was someone I could see myself living comfortably with for the rest of my life.  

 Since I just celebrated my anniversary I will add to this thread again. A solid marraige is not built on looks, money, or even the funny flutter to your heart when you see them. Sometimes you don't even get to experience real love in a marriage until you have been married for a while. Real love is not a funny flutter or an attraction. Wow can it take you through some rotten, horrid stuff. Right now I would say our marriage is in the valley. Its not a bad place to be, its actually sorta comfortable.  Its also when the passion takes a backseat and the friendship is on the front burner. We seem to have this pattern down now and its kinda exciting. I know that just because we are sitting comfy in the valley and enjoying being best friends today, tomorrow things may be totally different. Its great knowing that even while I am sick, exhausted, and frankly looking a tad bit ready to die that I have someone by my side who is my best friend and who somehow thinks a bathrobe is the "hot" thing to wear for our anniversary.

first time i got married I was young and wanted out of parents house and he asked.   Second time i got married was to my friend so he couold help me a single mom money wise.  2 planned children later we got divorced.  It was during our marriage that he met my husband as i call him.  My 2cd husband became friends with my guy and introduced him to me.  during divorce from 2cd husband (the one for the money) he suggesst4ed I move down with our kids to his friends house to help take care of the friend's son. Kids and I did and eventually we became a couple at the encouragement of 2cd hubby.  Jeff and I have been together 3 years now and he is my soulmate.  All I want is to help him and be there for him, encourage him in his endevors but at the same time have him do the same for me.  second hubby is still friends with Jeff and I. It is the most wonderful feeling in the world to know that I can be a partner in my hubby's life and he in mine.   Maybe in the future, down the road, we will get married...But we are a both little gun shy on that.  He's been married twice and so have I but you never know what the future will bring.

First time was a bit complicated.

My husband and I were quite far apart in age, I was 20 and he was 45. We had known one another for awhile before it progressed beyond acquaintance stage. I'm not very pretty and he had just gotten out of prison for a non-violent crime when he and I met, so I was fond of joking that the only reason he fell in love with me was because I was the first female he saw in 6 months. Our relationship progressed slowly and naturally. We moved in together in 2002 and had a daughter in 2004. Despite our age difference, we still had enough in common to base a relationship on (liked the same music, both liked horses, liked military history and just history in general, both grew up with an "ethnic background"). Shortly after our daughter was born, his health began to deteriorate. He had several botched knee surgeries, developed ulcers, depression, gall bladders issues, and heart issues. As his health suffered and he almost died several times, I realized how vulnerable financially that I was. I had turned down his earlier proposals, "I stay with you because I love you, not because a piece of paper says I have to." But when I began to hint that I now wanted to make it legal, he grew suspicious. So more limbo for a few years.

We eventually did get married in 2008 and he did die in 2011. Though I still love him and still miss him at times, I am so glad that we did get married simply because my daughter and I would have been without a home otherwise. Granted, we could have found somewhere but still ...

The man I am with now mentioned marriage to me the first time we ever talked on the phone to one another. I told him that I was recently widowed and not ready for it yet. We had a little rough patch during the early part of our relationship over religion (he's a Baptist, I'm not religious at all) but we got through it. AFter we had been together several months, I teased him one day about how he's not supposed to have "relations before marriage" and his response startled me. "Well, if you read the Old Testament, there were no formal weddings, when a man and a woman were together, that was considered marriage. In my mind, I already think of you as my wife. You will be the last. Whatever happens with us, you will be the last woman I am with." I'll admit that that proclamation made me a little uncomfortable at first and he has mentioned it two or three times since but I am starting to feel the same about him. My job position is a little shaky right now and when he brought up marriage a few weeks ago (I told him that no wedding would happen until at least a year after my husband had died and he realized it had been over a year) I told him that if I do get fired, then I'll need first husband's SSI to fall back on and if I get remarried, I would not be able to apply for it. He looked me in the eye and said, "You're already my wife. We'll just say our own vows to one another."

Why did I get married? ............................  Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.