Why do most people marry? - Page 19

Well.hmm..29 years ago :) i seen a beautiful woman that i could not keep my eyes off of her..i thought, man there's no way this gal is gonna go with someone of the likes of me (chuckle) but a Friend introduced her to me and we dated for a year ..than for some reason..we just seemed to get in fights and all ..(i suppose 2 strong natured individuals learning to cope with change) called it quits ..i did not date anyone else ..nor did my wife(or girlfriend at the time) ..that next year she called me and said ..(do you know who this is!) i said i could never forget that voice! and so 4 months later we where wedded. we have 2 beautiful young Lady's witch are now 27 and 24 ,,yes .that young lady may not look the same as she did almost 30 years ago..but neither do i .and I'm glad that i can still make her laugh and cut up .i enjoy coming home and talking to her about her day (and of course) here what the chickens got into. lol ,oh we've had ups and downs ,troubles and trials ..guess who hasn't :) we bought a new farm last year and keeps us Bessy ,,i like to rube her feet ..poor gal lol working her to death :( lol and just sit and talk (with the TV off) i think if you just listen to each other and put the other person in the front ,most everything seems to work out .at least for us ..i told her she was stuck with me ..cause no way was i gonna start over with some new gal :P ,yes i can see that other wemen might have a so called better shaped body..but what we have takes years to cultivate . and my gal is just as pretty to me as she ever was! i suppose i could go on and on, but ill just stop there ,  well hope that answers any questions :)

We got married in 1982 because we could not imagine not being together for the rest of our lives. So far it has worked.

Hubby and I will be celebrating our 16th Anniversary this month. We married each other because we couldn't be without each other.

I can't speak for anybody else, but hubby and I got married because we love eachother and wanted to commit to building our lives together. We are also Christian so marriage is important to us for religious reasons as well. In May we will have been married for 3 years. We dated for 4 years before getting engaged, and had a year long engagement. I'm happy we dated for a while first, we were young (20) when we started dating and we had a lot of fun together, got to know eachother really well. We don't have kids yet as we are trying to time it right with where we want to live and being financially and emotionally prepared. I'm glad we have waited this long, and will a bit longer, before having a baby as we are having a blast connecting as a married couple and building the life we want.

I love a lot of the posts here! We have some strong, healthy and long lasting marriages in both of our families that we look up to. Sounds like there are lots of people on here in great marriages too. It's so nice to see!

To the original poster, 30 is not that old :) I am 28 and probably won't have kids until I'm in my 30's. My aunt had hers at 34 and 36 with no complications. I would definitely have a sit down talk with your boyfriend though about what he does want out of life, and if he sees you as a part of that plan. I know if I were you I'd want to know if the relationship was progessing or not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RHRanch 

Why did I get married? ............................  Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

LOL  that is funny.

I just want to say thank you for everyone who put such candid responses on this thread.  I read every single post last night,

and teared up with more than a few!  Everyone's stories really got me to thinking, as well as some renewed my faith in "lasting

love" and marriage.

I am 32 and got divorced 2-3 years ago (depends on whether you count the day he left, or the day the divorce was final).  I thought I was so in love, and would have held on to that marriage through anything! It was a huge wake up call to find my husband didn't feel the same way or have the same level of commitment.  Later I even found out that he had been planning with his parents to divorce me for two years before he left--they had been saving up for that two years, and told him if he would divorce me they would buy him a house (!) 

Talk about a shock coming from someone I loved and trusted--it literally felt like the twilight zone.

I have learned and grown so much since then, and somehow my faith in marriage is still intact.  Even with all that I would rather be married than single!  There are so many good things about having someone else to "come home" to, share your stories and experiences with, nurture, love, and do things with.  I also know so strongly in my heart that I am going to have a family, and I just would not consider doing that without being married.

I do feel more cautious about marriage than I used to, and I think my main fear is with myself and being able to make that "until death to us part" commitment.  I honestly meant it the first time; but I don't know if I could make a commitment that compromises myself like that again.  That kind of commitment can only work if both people truly mean it. I think if I saw some of the warning signs in a future marriage that I had in that one, I would just run out!  Being committed to someone that isn't committed to you is just not a good thing at all.

If both people are fully committed to the relationship, though, I still think marriage can be the most beautiful thing on this earth.  Difficult, because it is going to show you all of your demons and require you to take responsibility for them instead of blaming the other person.

Amazing, because when we do this it truly reflects the relationship we have with our creator.

I pray every day that I will get the chance to experience this with another human being, who is as committed to the experience as I am.

 I'm sooo sorry you went through what you did. Many hugs

Thats very interesting and a great subject

with me its very odd as i have religious and personal reasons why i married

First Religious:

In my Religion [Muslim] it is said in the Holy Book that alot of whatreligious beleif is, is to beleive in the unseen,

that would be things Like

God

Heaven

Hell

Angels

Jins

Devil him self

etc, etc, etc

A person in Islam has to work his life towards ritousness and walk the correct path, bringing in his knolledge of his religion as he lives his life always learning.

The Holy book says Half 50% of your learning and understanding of the religion is Marriage.

Now one might say you dont learn anything from Marriage so how can it be Half 50% well that where the above comes into play where beleiving in the unseen matters, as what you cannot see but beleive in does not nessassarily mean you dont know or learn anything, and when the time comes to meet our maker and we are aked what we learnt the MArriage will automatically give 50% marks on your final score so to say

I hope im making sence here

as for Personal Reasons and this was my main reason to marry

well i wanted a companion, Legitmate children [no offence to anyone that just my beleif] a steady family life so on and so forth

being unmarried for me was like odd after a while as i didnt fly the coop [no pun intended] and lived under parents rule which i dont have issues with but wanted to be more independant in myself

after having dated a few long term relationships i didnt see them going anywhere no matter how hard i tried to make them work.

So i happened to find a nice gal who secretly fell in love with me and never told me. and boy am i glad she never did [tell you why down the line]

we started hanging out and having an old laugh just as mates and thats why im glad she never told me as she showed me her true self adn being just a mate i was my self around her

well as it happens my dad asked her if she liked me and gave her his blessings and left it at that still i didnt know anything

6 months later i said to my dad i like her and wouldnt mind marring her, to whitch my dad grinned inside

i proposed and we got married [now that a story in its self]

and today after 7 years we have 3 kids brilliant bunch, a house, finance, 7 brill hens, 2 rabbits and a load of laughs

where as when i was single and dating i was much all over the place and wasn't going anywhere fast

:)