My name is HippieHen, and I suck at gardening.
OK, let me rephrase that - I can grow any flower/tree/cutting/transplant you send my way, but if I so much as look at a vegetable seed it shrivels up in terror and turns to ash under my gaze.
I've been at it for three years and so far I've cornered the market in radishes and carrots, I grow them all year (thank you texas winter). But between drought, bugs, heat, wind, craptastic clay soil, lack of time, knowledge and dinero I have not had much luck with anything else.
It seems like I'm always two steps behind or ahead of the "right time" for whatever chore it may be - starting seeds/planting/fertilizing, ect. I need some help, a mentor to guide me through the year!
I've talked to a lot of old timers around here to get their advice and while I love and respect them, they are definitely from the "kill it with fire" generation. I'm surprised my grandpa doesn't glow in the dark he's sprayed so many chemicals over the last 50 years!
But maybe that's the only way to be successful? Should I throw in the towel and nuke those thrips and aphids? Pour on the miracle gro? I just don't know! And I want some freaking tomatoes for the love of pete!!
This post is already tl;dr so I'll post up my specific scenario (with pictures!) later today.
But I can't be the only one out there who needs some green thumb intervention. Anyone else need as much help as me? And I know there are some kick-butt gardeners out there who can give us some help!