Jut have to get this out somewhere

Making sympathetic noises, because I don't have any good solution for self-centered partners.

By the way, not meaning to scare you, but how unusual is this behavior?  My ex went insane and one of the first symptoms was that he would fly into unreasonable, unprovoked rages.  It was a very noticeable change because he had always been very cheerful, tolerant, and good natured.

Probably what you are experiencing is no more than bad moods, but pay attention. To start out, I suggest the heart to heart talk where you explain to him that he is being boorish. Occasionally, that will work.

Oh dear tough old time for you. How I hate the blame game. Now I am going to blame parents who bring up their children to avoid responsibility for things that go wrong. My mother used to say, 'Of course, I blame for myself for .......' Now I say the same thing. How those words have smoothed over some upsets over the years!

errrrrrrrrrr.. my DH does the same thing... its far easier for them to use someone else as their scape goat than to face their own inadequacies!

My now EX used to be like that.  I think he had depression too, but refused to see anyone or admit that he was having problems.  After many years, I just couldn't do it anymore.  I know how hard it is to live with that.  Hopefully you can get your husband to talk to someone. 

My BF occasionally gets a bug up the you-know-what and tries to pick fights with me - I hate this, as I grew up in a home with a lot of strife, and get really uncomfortable around arguments.  Thank goodness he is usually a real sweetie and very tolerant of my own occasional bad moods.  Hope things get better for you 

Yesterday, someone asked me if I had good people skills.  My reply was I have been married to the same man for 30 years.

She smiled,  "How do you do it?"

I said I treat my husband like a friend, not family.  I put up with those little irritating things, always listen like I'm interested, and argue about the important things.  Apologize when needed.  Offer advice when needed.

And I always keep in the back of my mind:  one day he may not be there for me.  One day some nut case may take my hubby away from me while he's patrolling the roads.  Then,  I will see just how good my people skills are.

When my spouse really gets on my nerves I try to think of all the things he provides for me.