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Jut have to get this out somewhere

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 

My husband is driving me nuts. Lately he's rude, ungrateful, unhelpful, and just plain .... driving me bananas.

 

Yes, honey, everything wrong in your life is my fault. It's my fault you forgot your keys. It's my fault you hate any job you have. It's my fault...all of it.

 

 

 

 

 

and he wonders why I love my chickens so much...they don't BLAME ME FOR THINGS!

~Marcy Lauryl~
13 hens, 2 roos, 8 muscovies, 2 turkey poults, 2 Indian Runners ducklings, and  incubating chicks & ducks cause I'm addicted! 2 drooling English Mastiffs, 1 naughty Welsh Corgi, 2 obnoxious cats, 3 little boys, and 1 husband. I'm a nurse & a picker...
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~Marcy Lauryl~
13 hens, 2 roos, 8 muscovies, 2 turkey poults, 2 Indian Runners ducklings, and  incubating chicks & ducks cause I'm addicted! 2 drooling English Mastiffs, 1 naughty Welsh Corgi, 2 obnoxious cats, 3 little boys, and 1 husband. I'm a nurse & a picker...
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post #2 of 16

Making sympathetic noises, because I don't have any good solution for self-centered partners.

Exhibition quality Blue Swedish Ducks and Gray Saddleback Pomeranian Geese,   Hatching eggs available in late winter and spring. NPIP

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Exhibition quality Blue Swedish Ducks and Gray Saddleback Pomeranian Geese,   Hatching eggs available in late winter and spring. NPIP

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post #3 of 16

By the way, not meaning to scare you, but how unusual is this behavior?  My ex went insane and one of the first symptoms was that he would fly into unreasonable, unprovoked rages.  It was a very noticeable change because he had always been very cheerful, tolerant, and good natured.

 

Probably what you are experiencing is no more than bad moods, but pay attention. To start out, I suggest the heart to heart talk where you explain to him that he is being boorish. Occasionally, that will work.

Exhibition quality Blue Swedish Ducks and Gray Saddleback Pomeranian Geese,   Hatching eggs available in late winter and spring. NPIP

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Exhibition quality Blue Swedish Ducks and Gray Saddleback Pomeranian Geese,   Hatching eggs available in late winter and spring. NPIP

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post #4 of 16

Oh dear tough old time for you. How I hate the blame game. Now I am going to blame parents who bring up their children to avoid responsibility for things that go wrong. My mother used to say, 'Of course, I blame for myself for .......' Now I say the same thing. How those words have smoothed over some upsets over the years!

post #5 of 16
Thread Starter 

It's a cycle I see with him too often, and yes I'm sure parenting had a big impact long-term. I haven't seen him do the blame game with me in awhile, but now he is. Not raging, just irritating me. I'm 99% sure he suffers from depression but he refuses to go on meds. He's barely been sleeping lately with I know is making a HUGE impact. (and my own clinical depression does not help--but at least I'm on meds for it)

 

One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time.

 

 

~Marcy Lauryl~
13 hens, 2 roos, 8 muscovies, 2 turkey poults, 2 Indian Runners ducklings, and  incubating chicks & ducks cause I'm addicted! 2 drooling English Mastiffs, 1 naughty Welsh Corgi, 2 obnoxious cats, 3 little boys, and 1 husband. I'm a nurse & a picker...
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~Marcy Lauryl~
13 hens, 2 roos, 8 muscovies, 2 turkey poults, 2 Indian Runners ducklings, and  incubating chicks & ducks cause I'm addicted! 2 drooling English Mastiffs, 1 naughty Welsh Corgi, 2 obnoxious cats, 3 little boys, and 1 husband. I'm a nurse & a picker...
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post #6 of 16

hugs.gif

Alison

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Alison

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post #7 of 16

errrrrrrrrrr.. my DH does the same thing... its far easier for them to use someone else as their scape goat than to face their own inadequacies!

post #8 of 16

My now EX used to be like that.  I think he had depression too, but refused to see anyone or admit that he was having problems.  After many years, I just couldn't do it anymore.  I know how hard it is to live with that.  Hopefully you can get your husband to talk to someone.  hugs.gif

 

I have: Bantam Naked Necks, Barred Bearded Olive Eggers, Mini Cheviot Sheep, Mini Rex, Jersey Wooly & Lionhead Rabbits

Selling Locally: Mini Cheviot Lambs, Mini Rex, Jersey Wooly & Lionhead Baby Bunnies

 

Re-homing: (free to BYC'rs) Mini Rex Rabbits: Black Otter Sr. Buck, Broken Castor Doe

Swaps: http://www.backyardchickens.com/a/rhranchs-member-page

Contact: byhookorbycrookfarm@yahoo.com

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I have: Bantam Naked Necks, Barred Bearded Olive Eggers, Mini Cheviot Sheep, Mini Rex, Jersey Wooly & Lionhead Rabbits

Selling Locally: Mini Cheviot Lambs, Mini Rex, Jersey Wooly & Lionhead Baby Bunnies

 

Re-homing: (free to BYC'rs) Mini Rex Rabbits: Black Otter Sr. Buck, Broken Castor Doe

Swaps: http://www.backyardchickens.com/a/rhranchs-member-page

Contact: byhookorbycrookfarm@yahoo.com

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post #9 of 16

My BF occasionally gets a bug up the you-know-what and tries to pick fights with me - I hate this, as I grew up in a home with a lot of strife, and get really uncomfortable around arguments.  Thank goodness he is usually a real sweetie and very tolerant of my own occasional bad moods.  Hope things get better for you  hugs.gif

Home of the world's cutest dachshund, one crazy blue heeler, two cats,
              one fat pony, and many (but not too many!) chickens

              Can anyone tell me, how many are too many chickens?

 



My Chickens
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Home of the world's cutest dachshund, one crazy blue heeler, two cats,
              one fat pony, and many (but not too many!) chickens

              Can anyone tell me, how many are too many chickens?

 



My Chickens
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post #10 of 16

Yesterday, someone asked me if I had good people skills.  My reply was I have been married to the same man for 30 years.

 

She smiled,  "How do you do it?"

 

I said I treat my husband like a friend, not family.  I put up with those little irritating things, always listen like I'm interested, and argue about the important things.  Apologize when needed.  Offer advice when needed.

 

And I always keep in the back of my mind:  one day he may not be there for me.  One day some nut case may take my hubby away from me while he's patrolling the roads.  Then,  I will see just how good my people skills are.

 

When my spouse really gets on my nerves I try to think of all the things he provides for me.

Married to the old dude, 0 human kids, 2 horses, 4 cockatiels, 2 parakeets,  1 Blue Front Amazon, 1 Yellow Head Amazon,  1 eccentric peacock, 1 gsd, 1 pet terrapin, 1 Blue Copper Maran rooster, and 13 world famous Jersey Giants!

 

 

Stan the Man will be missed.

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Married to the old dude, 0 human kids, 2 horses, 4 cockatiels, 2 parakeets,  1 Blue Front Amazon, 1 Yellow Head Amazon,  1 eccentric peacock, 1 gsd, 1 pet terrapin, 1 Blue Copper Maran rooster, and 13 world famous Jersey Giants!

 

 

Stan the Man will be missed.

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