Originally Posted by Arielle
Originally Posted by Sueg4332
don't get to comfortable. Kids come home about the time you get used of being alone. And bring the whole family with them....
I'm secretly hoping my kids never leave. I may change my mind when they hit 13. I'm fortunate that my kids hang around with other kids whose parents call my kids on their behavior just as I remind their kids. Seems like the kids are more inclined to redirect their behavior when it's not mom nagging.
I thought this too when they were young. The truth is it is natural for them to leave and the teenage years are a natural part of life that helps you prepare for that stage. You can't hang on to them forever. The parent that tries ends up making the child miserable. Your children can't be your everything. That is too much pressure for any child. Our job is to raise them to be responsible adults that can take good care of themselves and get along well on their own. We shouldn't be too upset when that is exactly what happens.
Oh and my kids were still great at 13. My oldest started acting out at 16 and the others were even later than that. In fact the youngest really barely acted out at all and even he didn't understand why. I had to explain to him that the biological changes as we head into adulthood cause mood swings and that it is a normal part of growing up and moving on. As hard as it is on us they don't need to feel guilty for going through a very normal process. Not that I didn't lose my patience now and then with certain behaviors. I just vented to other adults that understood what I was going through.
BTW this is not something you need to worry about at this stage of your life anyway. Just love 'em! It'll all work out in the end the way it was meant to.
Sunny Dawn, I love my kids and had them late in life when I thought I would be the most able to bring up children that would contribute positively to our failing society.
My kids can live with me forever. However, as they do now, they must contribute. Bringing in firewood, or gathering eggs, or putting away the birds for the night. Need a little more work on picking up their room and washing dishes!! LOL They often help each other. When one is ready for school, he is to help the other get ready. Teamwork it! I fear the day I won't be here and they will only have each other to depend on. I want them to be friends who help each other, and laugh and play together. In Europe the kids grow up, go to work, and still live at home. I don't see how, in the economy to come, how they can live on their own. If we can pull together, we can help each other. But I'm trying to teach them sharing and responsibility now.
Certainly helps to vent to understanding adults. My mother spewed her junk on me--very unhealthy. I let the kids be kids and, as needed, friends help me sort thru a difficult moment. I live in an area were children rarely play outside. My kids have acres to cruise, together, and loads of exciting adventures to fuel their imaginations. THey take what they learn on PBS and TV and add it to their adventure. We are on a large peice of land, most people here live on a postage stamp. I'm saving that for retirement! LOL Kids need to be able to run and play after a demanding day at school.
I have great kids. My reward will be the day they say they had a great mom.