Me - Hello, Mary, how are you feeling? I brought you some flowers.
Mary - Thank you. This traction's very uncomfortable but I'm feeling okay. Just set them over there with the others.
Me - You know, I saved your life.
Mary - Really?
Me - yeah. I preformed CPR for 30 minutes!
Doctor - But She was hit by a car!
Me - I know.
Mary - NURSE! I NEED A GLASS OF MOUTHWASH!
Me - {chuckles}