Yes, that stainless steel comb works wonders.
And I did call my ob/gyn on Friday and he didn't come right out and say "your baby has died" but he sounded pretty final: told me that he was sorry, said that it does happen. The follow up is more for DBF's sake than mine although DBF I think has accepted it, at least outwardly. No great loss without some small gain, he told his mother what happened and ended up spending an afternoon talking with her about her miscarriage (which he never knew she had), so some mother/son bonding did occur that probably wouldn't have otherwise.
My dad called last night. He is an MD (he specializes in internal medicine) and told me basically what ob/gyn and mom have been telling me: if the ultrasound didn't catch it at 11, almost 12 weeks, it's probably not alive.
And 2 sonographers looked at the monitor. A cheery younger gal greeted us and said she was going to be the tech. OK, cool, whatever. During the sonogram she left and got her supervisor to look at it. The supervisor (a middle aged woman) was the one who called the doc and told me I had to go to the clinic. I will give the first gal credit for getting a second person to look.
Again, no cramps or bleeding yet. My stomach bulge where I was starting to show feels softer, I don't know if that means anything or not.
As for my principal, I know my performance has waned quite a bit during these last 6 weeks. I want to talk to her about it, but at the same time I feel like I'll be whining since so many other women manage to teach and be pregnant and have children. But ... these women aren't recently widowed and they also have prep time. I don't get prep time, yes I get paid for it, but I get absolutely no downtime at all during the day. 55 minutes student free for me to make copies, plan and enter grades would be wonderful. After my husband died and I mentioned that I would need it, I was told by our union representative that "Be glad you have a job. Don't complain or they'll find someone who won't." I know the stress contributed to the miscarriage even if it didn't outright cause it.
Thank you again everyone for support and kind words.