Originally Posted by duckinnut
I may be speaking out of turn here but it seems your sister is throwing water on a grease fire. She wants to treat the side effect instead of the problem. Get with your sister and get your niece into rehab some way some how,the rest will take care of itself. What your sister doing is enabling her daughter to do what she wants. She is basically telling her its OK to be an addict but don't come home pregnant. I have known way too many people that screw their life up with drugs and heroin is always the last stop before the graveyard and can name 10 people that lost the battle. The toughest guy I have ever known,never lost a fight in his life even seen him beat a guy after he was stabbed in the chest but he just couldn't beat the needle. Now he is 6ft under. Had a friend from high school who I looked after like a little sister and did anything to protect her. We always hung out together but as we got older we went in different directions, I got married started having kids and lost touch from her. Always wondering where she was and how she was doing. She headed down a slippery slope, cocaine, pills then you guessed it heroin. Her life revolved around it to the point she stole $250,000 from the company she worked for. Sad. One day I was going by where she used to live and was thinking about her. I thought I had seen her in a car but it was either someone that looked like her or my mind screwing with me. About a week later I got a letter from her explaining what was going on in her life. She was in a rehab far from where I thought I saw her and for the past 6 months was making amends and was rebuilding her life from scratch. To sum it up she is one of the lucky ones who come out the other side and not often the case.
Sorry if I rambled on or offended you by telling you or your sister what should be done. Its a subject that's close to my heart but hate to see a life wasted. It's not the system failing your niece it's your sister. It seems your blaming the oven because the fridge is not keeping the food cold.
No you haven't offended me, just spoke without enough information. My sister and her husband have lost all their life savings by putting my niece in rehab TWICE.
They attend NA support group meetings weekly. They are doing all that they can do legally. My family knows that my niece may not survive this and it's tearing us apart. We don't have any more control over what she does, despite all our efforts to help her. What we are now doing is damage control. Because I know that inside that girl is a conscience. And I know that if she were to give birth to a child drug addicted or with serious health problems...THEN got clean, knowing that she did this to her child would most likely send her spiraling back to where she was.
We love her and we want to help her as much as we can. As proven by PP though, we can't make choices for her. I just learned from my sister that while in the room at PP with the doctor she told the doctor that she DIDN'T WANT the implant, just the pills. Well, I guess that she did dupe her mom into believing that she wanted to do the right thing.
Why my concern with a child? Because I see these children each day at the elementary school. They struggle every day, many never will be independent, living with grandparents too old to be there for them when they reach adulthood. I was helping in my child's kindergarden class when a little boy looked at me and said "My mom loves drugs more than she loves me." I've read the stories about children born to addicts that are too wrapped up in their addiction that they don't notice that the baby is being molested by all the guys coming through the front door, or the kid is eating the stuff off the coffee table and goes into cardiac arrest because mom is strung out. I'm not unsympathetic to the drug addict, lets just say I'm more sympathetic to the child born to the drug addict.THIS POST IS NOT MEANT TO BE A PRO/ANTI ABORTION PLATFORM, I WILL ASK THE MODERATORS TO LOCK THIS THREAD IF IT STARTS TO GO IN THAT DIRECTION
I thank all of you for speaking with kindness and compassion!