Is this cheating? Need to vent

Did you two get together pretty young before he had much of a chance to date other girls? The reason why I ask is I've seen a few people that got together and had kids early before they really got to date other people and then later have a mid life crisis. The women I know that had the mid life crisis started dressing younger and pretending to go to the store but actually went to the bar.

Another thing is maybe at some point another woman flirted with him maybe at a store or something and got him having those butterfly feelings like you get when you first start dating someone new. Some people can get addicted to this feeling. I know of a few people that never really had a long term relationship cause they got bored with someone within a couple of weeks after the new feeling wore off. After a while they wait for another person to come along and spark that adrenaline rush that they craved.

Definitely something that should be brought up and talked about. You two might just need to do something in your life to spark the interest back up. I would let him know that you found out about the stuff and let him know you are upset but would like to try to work things out if possible if you feel your relationship could be worked out. If you don't bring it up to him then maybe try to do some different things like in the bedroom or maybe ask about going to do something you don't normally do and see if he starts slowing up on ads and dating sites.

I would be very uncomfortable if my husband engaged in this sort of activity.To even consider it would be make uncomfortable.I would probably stop having any physical contact with him due to disease risk,and then I would opt for some counseling together or alone.You both need to decide if staying together is something you want to do.No sense living a shared life when the other is dreaming of something else.Good luck!

Let's see---

Visiting sexual content websites

Hidden savings accounts

First and foremost considering the content of this thread and the underage kids allowed on this site, I believe this is an inappropriate subject to be airing here. Secondly, if you got to ask, you already know the answer. Thirdly, if you guys have been married any length of time, and are not completely open with each other, you got problems.

Another advice goodie---- Don't ever air your dirty laundry in public. What are you going to do when you decide to have the "discussion" with your husband? Your first point is going to be: all my buddies on the chicken forum believe you cheat! I promise you one thing, that's going to go over like a #art in a space suit. Your problem is a private issue between a married couple, it should be dealt with in that manner. Don't envolve anyone other than yourselves.

JoeTheChicken said:

Definately cheating

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No doubt about it. Good luck with him. Wait....... do i hear the choir singing "divorce"?

twentynine said:

Let's see---

Visiting sexual content websites

Hidden savings accounts

First and foremost considering the content of this thread and the underage kids allowed on this site, I believe this is an inappropriate subject to be airing here. Secondly, if you got to ask, you already know the answer. Thirdly, if you guys have been married any length of time, and are not completely open with each other, you got problems.

Another advice goodie---- Don't ever air your dirty laundry in public. What are you going to do when you decide to have the "discussion" with your husband? Your first point is going to be: all my buddies on the chicken forum believe you cheat! I promise you one thing, that's going to go over like a #art in a space suit. Your problem is a private issue between a married couple, it should be dealt with in that manner. Don't envolve anyone other than yourselves.

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I don't see anything she's posted that's inappropriate.

We have software on our kids computers that blocks out any page that contains any words my husband and I choose. We are responsible for what our kids see....we don't leave that to anyone else.

I agree that we all know it is part of the risk "airing" out our problems and many people can relate to it or they can just be morified in seeing this type of thing online. Kids are smart nowadays and sometimes it can be educational in seeing how mature and how adult we can be sharing problem solvings.

As long OP is comfortable in "broadcasting", just let her vent and she will feel better when all of us can relate or give advises. She is not the first one to be open about it on BYC. There are thousands of others that would do the same thing. It does not make her less of a person when she wants help.

I have no clue who the OP or her husband is, which is one reason why many feel more able to open up on anonymous online forums (or with therapists and other professionals who will not carry the information farther than the office door). I'm so glad that our current culture and technology allows for that. I've seen far too many people who come frome homes where things such as abuse, mental illness, marital problems, and other issues are "not to be talked about". The negative effects of that are manifold.

He is posting on these sites then HE IS ALREADY CHEATING, if he is looking then in his rotten old heart he is cheating. Yes sounds like there are issues, yes there are trust issues but he is the one looking elsewhere and once trust is gone , its not long before everything else follows. So finding a roomate is easier than living with someone you no longer trust; this eats at you and you will , if you dont already, resent him weather you tell him or not. I say tell him. Cook him his favorite meal, sit down and tell him the truth, look into couples counseling if you want this relationship to work. As my grandma used to say; "I'd rather be alone and lonley, than settle for somone I cant trust." Being single isnt the worst thing in the world. Signed single looking and loving myself in the meantime. good luck to you and may god heal your sorrows.

Kelly G said:

I don't see anything she's posted that's inappropriate.

We have software on our kids computers that blocks out any page that contains any words my husband and I choose. We are responsible for what our kids see....we don't leave that to anyone else.

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I stand by my comments made earlier.

1. Not an appropriate subject for this forum. All computers are not protected as your's.

2. This is something she should be discussing with her husband, not a chicken forum.

3. Finally and foremost, I did not say you, nor anyone else was irresponsible. That being said, you know this forum is frequented by teens and preteen children. Not your's, but somebody's.

Thanks for your participation.

Due to inappropriate fighting and content, I am closing this up.