I knew I would do it this morning, so I was tossing and turning by 4am about it. I had to wait until the kids left for school. I picked her up and carried her gently to the garage and my cone set up (a cut up milk jug nailed into my workbench with a bucket underneath). I talked to her, told her I was sorry and it would be over soon and thank you. I felt weird. She seemed very relaxed and then I cut and that was it. I wasn't ready for the last bit of flapping--I see that is nerves. I was afraid for a second that I did something wrong, but I didn't. Once that part was over, then the scientific part of me took over and I was interested in how long to scald before the feathers were easy to remove, I looked at the crop after removing it, I inspected the organs.....that part was kind of neat.
Definitely not something I would "enjoy" doing, but I think the satisfaction of a full freezer will be worth it. I feel very accomplished today. (in a bizarre, way) :)
Thank you for the support--these bulletin boards are so great when there aren't many around who understand. :)