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"ShiftersRP" Critique -

This RP is about a group of teenagers who try to stop alien invasion. Sound fermiliar? Let's begin.

Try to use proper grammar.

PLOT
The great race of Sharos are taking over the planet, and only a small group of teenagers can stop it. Become one of those teens, and stop the alien invasion with the forces to be reckoned with - animals. The Sharos have been enslaved by a larger, more powerful force. A fungus that infiltrates the mind of sentient beings, like the Sharos, and humans. No-one can be trusted. Except for a small group of Sharos, who devised a method of shifting from form to form. They gave it to us, right before they were destroyed and most of the shifting tech stolen. Now, the Shifters live away from people, in a small village protected by an alien hologram, making it impossible to see from the air and drives away sentiet beings with pulses of sound that hurt the sentient brains of humans and Sharos. The Shifters have driven them off before, but the Sharos and their overlords are planning something huge...

Very interesting plot, I like that you took some time to make one. All I will say here, is that you may want to go more into depth about the Sharos-dudes.

Rules:
Humans only (So far )
All BYC rules apply
Love IS allowed, but no.. erm, innapropriate content. Besides, you're teens! Boyfriend-Girlfriend is max.
Violent battles will happen, just do NOT get gory. I don't like gore.
If you are shifted, or morphed, you CAN'T directly shift into another animal, you must become human again first.
Let the person you are fighting react, unless it's a large scale war with plenty of NPC's. Don't jus say "____ killed___ with his claws."
If you get another morph by touching an animal, I will find it and add it to your 'Morphs' section on your form.
ONE BLOW PER POST

Nice, basic rules.

These rules ahead are more morph-based.
IF you want to get another morph, all you have to do is say that "______ touched a bird and acquired its DNA" or something along the lines of that. Be creative.
You cannot be in one morph for more than 20 posts, or else you will be STUCK in that morph. If you get close to it, you will be warned that you are 'getting close to the 2 hour mark.' Try to get to a safe place before 'demorphing.'
NO SPELLS. It's only Alien Tech that allows us to do this. In other words, we're normal. We just have alien tech in us.
You can be any age as long as it is in the teens or pre-teens (11-12). Kids cannot go to war with aliens, and adults think of making peace with a race wanting to take over the planet and enslave us all.

And most of all, HAVE FUN

PM your form to me:
Name:
Gender:
Rank:
Appearance:
Age:
Personality:
Morphs (Max 3 in he beginning):
Other:
BYC Username:
Please completely fill this form out, other than other.

Ranks:
Leaders (Only two, boy and girl.) (TAKEN)

Warriors (Use their morphs for battle purposes only.) (4 spots left, then you need to work up from Apprentice or Newbie)

Healer (Usually doesn't morph, unless it's for getting something high up or in a small place.) (1 spot left)

Apprentice (Has been around for a while, and is being taught by a Warrior or Healer about battle strategies, morphing/shifting techniques, etc.) (Make as many as you want, but MUST have a supervisor)

Newbie (Just got into the Shifters forces, usually early teens or even pre-teens.) (As many as you want, but inexperienced)

After 2 weeks of being a Newbie, you can advance to Apprentice, and after 2 months, Warrior or succeed the original Healer.

Speech:

You cannot talk while you are shifted, only thought speak

<This is thought speech,>

"And this is regular speech"

When you put this in, it's just thinking.

Villans:

Vorlochs: 7-foot tall squids with four thick legs, made of rock hard muscle. The other six tentacles have sharp hooks and blades on the inside of their tentacles. Their heads are vulnerable, think of a horizontal squid on four thick legs.

Sharos: Large beings with four eyes, large wings, vulture-like beaks, tails, arms, and raptor-like foot claws. They have yellow bodies, and bioluminescent quills on their heads, and spots on their sides, arms, legs, and tails that can be dimmed or brightened to their liking.

Xennorgs: Large blue worms with four eyes spaced evenly around its mouth, and 7 rows of teeth. That's really all they are, massive worms with 7 rows of teeth. But they're deadly.

Good idea.

Characters:

Leaders:

Name: Nikki
Gender: Female
Rank: Leader
Appearance: Is a pretty girl with black hair and hazel eyes.
Age: 16
Personality: Is friendly and sweet, but does have a temper if its called into play.
Morphs (Max 3 in the beginning): Dolphin for seas, hawk for the skies, and thoroughbred horse for ground.
Other: None
BYC Username: OwlLover

This is a bit basic, and could use a bit of tuning up. She seems a little too perfect for her own good. Remember, flaws are what make characters fun and interesting to play.

Name: James
Gender: Male
Rank: Leader
Appearance: Tall, has thick dark brown hair, deep blue eyes, clean shaven.
Age: 17
Personality: Kind, frank, heroic and brave in battle.
Morphs (Max 3 in the beginning): A huge black falcon, a lion, and a giant black horse.
Other: N/A
BYC Username: LittleLady98

See above.

LittleLady, I've noticed almost every single character that you have is the same. They're attractive and only have good qualities. You really, really need to add some more depth into them.

Warriors:

Name: Shamal
Gender: M
Rank: Warrior
Appearance: A tall, black haired teen with a scar over his left cheekbone. He also has hazel coloured eyes.
Age: 17
Personality: He is smart and funny. But no-one laughs at him on the battlefield. His Bull morph slays Vorlochs left and right.
Morphs: Bull, Gerbil, and Orang-utan
Other: He has a crush on Deyona.
BYC Username: SuperChickenDude327

This one's a little better.

Name: Deyona
Gender: F
Rank: Warrior
Appearance: She is tall with long blonde hair. She also has a nice smile and perfect teeth. Her eyes are pale blue, almost grey.
Age: 18
Personality: She likes to laugh, her favourite food is spaghetti, and she doesn't like grasshoppers or ants.
Morphs: Grizzly Bear, Hawk, American Goldfinch, and Alligator
Other: She is only 2 months older than Shamal, and has a crush on him.
BYC Username: SuperChickenDude327

See what I said under OwlLover's form.

Name: Jadyn
Gender: female
Rank: Warrior
Appearance: Tall, has long (mid-back) dirty blonde hair.
Age: 15
Personality: Kind, caring, but vicious in battle.
Morphs (Max 3 in the beginning): A pure white hawk, a golden Shire horse, a black panther.
Other: N/A
BYC Username: LittleLady98

See what I said under OwlLover's form, and LittleLady's form.
 

Name: Diana
Gender: Female
Rank: Warrior
Appearance: As a human she is tall with dark hair of a medium length which is usually kept up in a pony tail.
Age: 16
Personality: Sharp witted and clever, she is quick and agile in both human form and her morphs. Also very brave and outgoing.
Morphs (Max 3 in he beginning): Peregrine Falcon, Blue Shark, Black Panther
Other: Not one who likes to be messed with
BYC Username: HollyBird24

This one also seems okay. She's developed nicely, although it would be nice to see a flaw or two of hers up in her form. But then again, sometimes its best to get a feel for your character before you actually RP him/her.

Healer:

Apprentice:

Newbies:

Overall, this RP is put together fairly well. A few minor things could be fixed, however.

As I said, "sometimes its best to get a feel for your character before you actually RP him/her."