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Church Bulletin Mistakes

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
This is meant all in good fun; I do not mean to offend anyone.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the Altar. 

The service will close with "Little Drops of Water". One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in. 

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.

The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience. 

Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers will please meet with the minister in the study. 

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then give a speak on, "It's a Terrible Experience."

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.  

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. 

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. 

Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say, "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you. 

A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday. 

Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
Edited by NixNoodleNumbat - 4/29/12 at 4:30am
I'm back, but I will be mostly using my newer account (Anilee)!
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I'm back, but I will be mostly using my newer account (Anilee)!
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post #2 of 10
gig.gif

"The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it,

But that it is too low and we reach it" ~ Michelangelo

------

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
  And the mome raths outgrabe.

          ~ Lewis Carroll

     
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"The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it,

But that it is too low and we reach it" ~ Michelangelo

------

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
  And the mome raths outgrabe.

          ~ Lewis Carroll

     
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post #3 of 10

lau.gif  gig.giflol.png

I take in any unwanted animals and for that people say i'm crazy. My answer to why I do it is always the same. Why not? What could make me not want to? I save a life every time I take an animal in. So what if i've got alot of animals?!?! They are all well taken care of and 3 out of 5 I find a forever home for the other 2 stay with me.

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I take in any unwanted animals and for that people say i'm crazy. My answer to why I do it is always the same. Why not? What could make me not want to? I save a life every time I take an animal in. So what if i've got alot of animals?!?! They are all well taken care of and 3 out of 5 I find a forever home for the other 2 stay with me.

Reply
post #4 of 10
LMFAO!!!!!!! lau.giflau.giflau.gif

I think I might be addicted to BYC once more!

Proud papa of a wheaten maran, 1 hamburg x Ameraucana cross, 1 lakenvelder x Ameraucana cross, and 1 olive egger.

'Survivor'-like trivia game HERE!

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I think I might be addicted to BYC once more!

Proud papa of a wheaten maran, 1 hamburg x Ameraucana cross, 1 lakenvelder x Ameraucana cross, and 1 olive egger.

'Survivor'-like trivia game HERE!

Reply
post #5 of 10

I died laughing. lol.png

post #6 of 10

Even I had to laugh. tongue.png

Jesus Christ was sinless, perfect; He was beaten with whips tipped with glass shards, spikes driven through his wrists and ankles, a crown of thorns set into his head, for us. And that includes YOUABCAdmit, Believe, Confess that Jesus is God's son and he gave his life for you, accept him into your heart as your savior, orwhen you die, you will never have another chance. Jesus...

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Jesus Christ was sinless, perfect; He was beaten with whips tipped with glass shards, spikes driven through his wrists and ankles, a crown of thorns set into his head, for us. And that includes YOUABCAdmit, Believe, Confess that Jesus is God's son and he gave his life for you, accept him into your heart as your savior, orwhen you die, you will never have another chance. Jesus...

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post #7 of 10

Not an error but at my church there's a sign that says "thou shall not park here" tongue.png

post #8 of 10

thumbsup.gif Hard to type, I'm still laughing and crying. lau.gif  gig.gif

1 handy lovable hubby, 2 talented, loving sons, 2 precious daughters-in-love, 5 brilliant, beautiful, amazing grandchildren.

39 chickens, 6 turkeys and 5 guineas.


Blessed beyond measure, showered with blessings, standing on the promises.

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1 handy lovable hubby, 2 talented, loving sons, 2 precious daughters-in-love, 5 brilliant, beautiful, amazing grandchildren.

39 chickens, 6 turkeys and 5 guineas.


Blessed beyond measure, showered with blessings, standing on the promises.

Reply
post #9 of 10

Those are great!

At the very least, wipe the poop off your feet before getting in the car.

"Member of the Derperella Club-- We're just all goin' round' the rooster, here!"
Good night sweet Trousers, The Derp Club will miss you.
Treasure the love you recieve above all. It will survive long after your gold and good health have vanished. Og Mandino
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At the very least, wipe the poop off your feet before getting in the car.

"Member of the Derperella Club-- We're just all goin' round' the rooster, here!"
Good night sweet Trousers, The Derp Club will miss you.
Treasure the love you recieve above all. It will survive long after your gold and good health have vanished. Og Mandino
Reply
post #10 of 10
O_O... gig.giflau.giflol.png
#TeamLilMitzy
#PrayersForLilMitzy
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#TeamLilMitzy
#PrayersForLilMitzy
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