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Chuck Norris Jokes for Chicken Lovers - Page 5

Poll Results: Is Chuck Norris the most awesome person ever?

Poll expired: Dec 13, 2012  
  • 34% (9)
    Yes
  • 38% (10)
    No
  • 26% (7)
    Undecided
26 Total Votes  
post #41 of 53
YOU BET!!!!
post #42 of 53
  1. Chuck Norris doesnt water his grass, he tell it to water itself
  2. If there was a fight between Honey Bagger and Chuck Norris, The world would blow
  3. Chuck Norris had a brother, but he couldnt take more then one week of round house kicks
  4. Chuck Norris didnt train, he was born fighting
  5. Chuck Norris came out of his mothers womb a month early, he was too awesome to be kept in a jail like that
  6. Chuck Norris made the world, but handed it off to God
  7. Chuck Norris made the Grand Canyan, from just one stomp of the foot
  8. 700

     

Ameraucanas are so awesome! They are beautiful, sweet, and amazing :)

I am a young, proud owner of my own Ducks, Chickens, Turkeys, and Geese :)

RIP One of my first hens named Pickled. She was a Red Sexlink. Past on Jan-24-2013

Oh my gosh! Click this! NOW! This is totally CRAZY! (Click to show)

Ha ha, fail

 

 

Reply

Ameraucanas are so awesome! They are beautiful, sweet, and amazing :)

I am a young, proud owner of my own Ducks, Chickens, Turkeys, and Geese :)

RIP One of my first hens named Pickled. She was a Red Sexlink. Past on Jan-24-2013

Oh my gosh! Click this! NOW! This is totally CRAZY! (Click to show)

Ha ha, fail

 

 

Reply
post #43 of 53
Thread Starter 

I`m a guy.

 

Don`t know if this is funny or not.

 

Cacti have spines to protect against Chuck Norris

"There will always come a time when you're in a situation where you're presented with difficult choices, where your choice carries great weight and will greatly affect your future. Choose wisely, for you only have one chance, and no amount of regret will remedy your mistake"
Proud to be be a brony!
Reply
"There will always come a time when you're in a situation where you're presented with difficult choices, where your choice carries great weight and will greatly affect your future. Choose wisely, for you only have one chance, and no amount of regret will remedy your mistake"
Proud to be be a brony!
Reply
post #44 of 53
Lol
post #45 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by trainfullachickens14 View Post

I’ve got a bunch!  Lemme know what you think.

 

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep… he waits.
  • Chuck Norris has a Swiss Army Knife… but his has an arc welder, a lathe, a drillpress, and a plasma cutter.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting, because hunting implies the possibility of failure.  He simply goes catching.
  • Chuck Norris has a Gmail ID… it is gmail@chucknorris.fist
  • Chuck Norris once had a staring contest with the sun.  It lasted about two minutes… before the sun went blind.  The next day, Chuck Norris had a staring contest with Medusa.  This one lasted about three minutes… before Medusa turned to stone.
  • The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs. Chuck Norris.  The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.  No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
  • When the President presses The Big Red Button, Chuck Norris’s cell phone rings.
  • Chuck Norris can speak Russian…… in Chinese.
  • Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.  The looser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
  • Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattlesnake.  After three days of pain and agony… the rattlesnake died.
  • Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.  Its descendants today are known as “Giraffes.”
  • Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the Box Jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.  Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
  • Chuck Norris can stop on a dime and get a nickel back.
  • Chuck Norris is the only person in recorded history to defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
  • If you spell “Chuck Norris” in Scrabble, you win.  Forever.
  • Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands; and when he was born, the only one in the room who cried was the doctor.  Don’t.  Spank.  Chuck.  Norris.
  • Chuck Norris was the only Red-Shirt ever to survive Star Trek.
  • When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon, Chuck Norris was already there grilling burgers.
  • Chuck Norris can count to infinity… backwards.
  • Chuck Norris plays hacky-sack with bowling balls.
  • The world will not end on 12/21/2012 the world will end when Chuck Norris gets bored with us.

LOL

 

Click to be hypmotized (Click to show)

You are getting very sleepy, when I snap my fingers you will buy me as many animals as I want "snap!"........ now get me those animals!!!!!

 

_______  You have mail!
l\_____/l
l______l

 _____

/____/l

l____l/

 

Reply

 

Click to be hypmotized (Click to show)

You are getting very sleepy, when I snap my fingers you will buy me as many animals as I want "snap!"........ now get me those animals!!!!!

 

_______  You have mail!
l\_____/l
l______l

 _____

/____/l

l____l/

 

Reply
post #46 of 53

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

. Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Reply
. Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Reply
post #47 of 53

Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.

. Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Reply
. Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Reply
post #48 of 53

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

. Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Reply
. Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Reply
post #49 of 53
Hahaha love Chuck Norris jokes!!!
post #50 of 53

. Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Reply
. Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Reply
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