I am new to the forum. I haven't read through all of your comments yet. But I am already feeling better -- less crazy -- just reading some of your posts.
My situation isn't as bad as some of yours (Connie, coffeeluvr, et.al), but I have a feeling that I may be headed that way if I am not careful. So it's been really helpful to me to read about your experiences.
My daughter and the boy who has a huge crush on her are just 15. But they are both mature beyond their years. I am really upset that she is not giving him the time of the day, especially since she is the one who started the ball rolling. He is probably the biggest heartthrob in their big high school right now. He is from a well-to-do family, very good looking, a state level athlete, tracked into all the top AP classes, and gets hit on by girls ALL the time!! In fact, the reason they met is because my daughter and her group of girl friends decided that they would have a competition to see which of them, if any, could catch the attention of this boy. They, including my daughter, flirted outrageously with him.
My daughter won, hands down. He had a dozen roses delivered to her on Valentine's day, follows her around like a lost puppy, texts her "good morning" and "good night" everyday, etc. It is no exaggeration to say that he treats her like she is the only girl in the world. My daughter on the other hand, is really taking her time -- she won't commit to him (date him exclusively) but she won't let him go either! This has been going on for 3 months! Teenagers have entire relationships, beginning to end, in 3 months!
I don't understand her hesitation. Sometimes I think she is playing him. It doesn't help that because of his obvious attention, boys have been coming out of all corners to express their admiration for her. In the meantime, girls continue to throw themselves at him. But he doesn't care. He is in love and can only see one girl (my teenage ice queen).
And I just feel SO bad for him! I absolutely adore this boy! He has this enchanting earnestness that is so rare in boys with his qualities. He just made several top 10 State cuts this past weekend, and he doesn't even talk about it. All he wants is to get on her calendar! It makes me so mad when she asks me to drive her to meet up with her different friends while she gives him nothing. I don't understand why I feel SO disappointed that she hasn't decided to date him. I literally feel that I am the one being rejected by my daughter. And I also feel that she is the biggest fool in the world to not see what a "catch" he is. And they look absolutely adorable together! Don't misunderstand, I know they are teens and am expecting a 6-month, one year at most, relationship.
I feel crazy. I can't talk about it to anyone, not even my husband. And I worry about this boy. I worry that my daughter might do him permanent emotional damage... Am I overthinking this? Do teens just hurt each other all the time and then get over it like nothing happened? Should I talk to his mom? I sort of know her a little, but not really. I don't want her to think that I am this crazy mom who wants to live vicariously through her teenage daughter (but am I? I think maybe I am...)
I would appreciate your opinion.