Kids are always going to come first,and for some there is the sense of responsibility when their child calls for help.My mom has done that with my brother and it almost cost her the house this last time.After that nightmare she gave him a car and money and said," This is it. I am done." Do you think he learned?Ofcourse not. Keeps writing me about how bad his life is.Oh well. I love him,but I won't send him any money.
You MUST stick with whatever you decide to do.Like a toddler whining for a toy they just won't give up.Set some fair rules and stick with it. My dh pays everything right now,but if I did work there is no way I would consider my paychecks my personal play money,It would go into an account with his paychecks and then we pay bills.
When I was in college I worked nights in the student cafeteria,and on the weekends I drove an hour home,and worked double shifts as a nurse aide.In fact I recall working till 7am on Mondays and then driving back to school for my week of studies. I get tired just thinking of it,but hey at the time it was just the way things were.
Parents do no help by forking out the cash for EVERYTHING.They end up users at 40,50,and 60.My mom tried to give,but I think the guilt over her helping my brother kept me from taking much if anything. I did however ALWAYS take her home cooking.That was better than cash.
Good luck.Life has gotten tough for all ages.If he moves in after college set strict rules. I told my kids they can live at home as adults,but if they don't help out then I am packing the bags for them and changing the locks.Tough love.
Edited by Mattemma - 1/12/13 at 5:26am