Why does my mother hate what I do?!!

Make your peace dear. Be at peace with yourself even if it means cutting off the mother. At some point she'll realize why you don't respond anymore. Or of course you could make peace (for yourself) by going to your mother and telling her all of the things you just put on here, why you feel the way you do towards her and that you don't understand why she acts the way she does. When she argues just walk away. Yes it will hurt her feelings and yes she will get defensive. But after you leave she will think about the conversation and after a time things may heal. If not then at least you tried. Leave it at that and be happy with the life you have chosen knowing that everything you have been through has made you into the person you are today

Got an email from my mother today!! Guess she couldn't spell my farm name right, but during these many many months of email glitches, she has been able to call my DH. He is polite but not talkative. Funny though how all this time she implied that something was wrong with my computer.

I prefer email over phone as I can choose when I want to talk to her. Puts me in control. Her em ails are overwhelming with too much detail.


GD-- while your childhood was not ideal, you ultimately landed with caring grandparents who clearly raised up a wonderful person. ANd now you have a trustworthy husband who has your back!! You don't owe your mother anything . . . . she failed to be your mother thru out your entire childhood.My kids on the other hand owe me big time!! I love them to peices and teach them everything I can think of. RIght now they are working together to get the wood stove going and . . I don't need to be standing over them to see they do it right. I trust they will follow the safety rules. . . trust they earned.

THe government along with Big Business is making us into lemmings . . . . . sadly when the SugarHoneyIceTea hits the fan , people are no longer able to think for themselves and create new solutions. THe power to think and to do has been removed. I'm not willing to be a lemming . . .

Your animals are not the problem. How you relate to each other is. If it is not the animals she will find something else to hassle you about. Don't take the bait. When she starts off on a tangent, thank her for her opinion and change the subject. If that doesn't work end the conversation at once.

Sounds like she's trying to make up for lost time, trying to be your mom now instead of when you needed her to be.
You sound like you still want her acceptance, which you'll likely never get. Unless you flat out tell her what is on your mind, and how much she hurt you growing up.. you may never get along.

I agree with others, don't feed her any information about your farm or personal life - keep it generic. If she asks how the animals are, tell her "they're fine" and that's it. ... after all fine chicken stew is as good as a fine flock in the yard, right?

If she asks more directly if your processing them etc, tell her its none of her business.. or change the subject entirely. Don't let her monopolize your conversations. If gaining control of all your interactions doesn't work and she makes your life less than it could be. cut her out of the picture.

I know a few people who are not happy unless they have something to ***** about... and well you know what they say. Misery loves company. They don't get to be a part of my life very long if they try to suck me down with them..