This is a repost from a thread, but I think it probably works better as an article.

Tevye, as the official Spokesduck of the flock, will now give a lesson in basic hygiene:

The first step is to decide to clean up. Choose a time when there are no scary rivals in your pool...


Next you puff up your feathers. This will release the dirt and grime trapped there as well as let more water in to deep clean your plumage...



Then you beat the tar out of your feathers...



I mean it! Don't be afraid to go crazy! Dirt, insects, leftover food scraps all trapped in those feathers...



If anything or anyone around you is dry... You aren't done...



Give it an ultrasonic shake to get the tough stains out...



And don't forget to wash your face... (Pssst, Entie... get out of the shot...)



And behind your ears...



Now you are clean... You motor on over to the ramp...



And throw on a towel.



You will note at this point, my soft quilted chest is kind of lumpy...



And some feathers are severely out of place.



But a little time


spent meticulously preening


removing damaged feathers


and putting the rest in place


is well worth the result


of wonderfully groomed


plumage...



There...

I think that went well...

Arrrrrg! Girls!

Why didn't you tell me there was this crumb on my foot? Now I feel like an idiot!