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Fort Chicken

By Pecanny · Jun 13, 2014 · ·
  1. Pecanny
    After two raccoon attacks in which enlisted Chickens were killed at the Chicken outpost in Greenbrier, Arkansas, Colonel Red Rooster summoned the help of me to establish a coon proof fortress in which Chickens would longer fear the piddly little hands of a racoon. The result of the undertaking ended with the raising of the American flag at Fort Chicken!!

    Clementine AnnaRose sits on 90 lbs. of ground reinforcing cinder blocks on barn tin ground fortification at Fort Chicken. Near her left arm, you can see the rustic coon meat grinder mounted to the Fort Chicken portal. Above that is the coon choppin' hatchet>


    Mom AdriAnn, and Clementine AnnaRose, together at Fort Chicken.


    Dad, Micheal... Outpost contractor and the lone builder of Fort Chicken.


    Colonel Red Rooster, pecking around inside Fort Chicken, poses for a pic with his lovely woman, KFC. Note the coon proof fence design. Outside is double hog fence (1/8 inch steel) wired together at the centers. Next is a row of 2"x4" yard fence. Inside is a row of chicken wire to keep the little chicks corraled, all nailed to fresh cut concreted 5 inch cedar posts, wrapped to the ground on a 2'x6' frame.

    Staven and Clementine AnnaRose sit outside the north weapon wall at Fort Chicken, complete with GIJoe Tank lunch ration bucket and yellow porcelin pot lid shield. A short handled coon slapper hangs top left. An arsenal of calvary issue coon gigs, coon knockers, and coon skinners are pictured above Clementine AnnaRose and Staven. It is a dangerous place for a coon to hang out. Inside hangs a full set of Ping golf clubs. Colonel Red Rooster likes to play golf, and he also slaps a pretty good chicken snake with a 3 iron.

    USMC artillery dump at Fort Chicken, complete with bullets and mortar launcher, sitting atop one of the four empress wood ground tin anchoring corner stumps. Note the coon paw cutters and coon foot smasher on the cedar post. Miss Piggy and Mr. Jersey on egg guard at Fort Chicken. Mr. Jersey had his right arm ripped off in a coon attack, but he continues to serve.

    The Fort Chicken eagle bell alarm, with outpost lamp, and some crying Indian girl juju incorporated. Poison water cup and coon saw also pictured.

    Coon skinners and giggers, and coon hooks. Lucky horseshoe.


    Reinforced stall door with 5 lb railroad wrench handle. Coon saw. Slide locking gates with 6 inch by 2 inch genuine crystal overlatch.


    Hammer handle on the left stall, made for quick removal for coon pounding. And yes, that is a molotov cocktail hanging from the chain, made from a tempting Coon-a-Cola bottle.

    [​IMG]And that my comrades is how Colonel Red Rooster won the war against raccoons.


    Oh, and the best part, with accessories, I spent about $15 cash building Fort Chicken, top to bottom. The cypress and oak wood came from a hundred year old barn on my dad's place, as did the barn tin. The cedar post I cut out back of the house. Most of the arsenal, artillery and such, was bought extremely cheap at yard sales. All the fencing I got free for helping some folks clean up some junk. [​IMG]

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Recent User Reviews

  1. Chickencountryuk
    "Coons are out!"
    4/5, 4 out of 5, reviewed Jul 15, 2018
    I don't know whether to laugh or cry!? A fort built out of loss. It does seem impenetrable but I'm not convinced on the chicken wire. Hardware cloth seems to be the first line of defence against raccoons. Great writeup though. I really enjoyed you sharing.


To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!
  1. Pecanny
    Thanks to all of you for your comments!
  2. limaro
    Well, done soldier! Thanks for the brilliant, entertaining post.
  3. Mountain Peeps
  4. ELauraD
    Very cool and what a great memory for your daughter.
  5. ChemicalchiCkns
    Almost enough for a Bear. Fly yr Flag with pride!
  6. Xiao Casa
    That is so neat! I'm glad that the Colonel won the war, and I bet that Fort Chicken would hold up against much bigger predators than a 'coon.
  7. crazyfeathers
    Love it, what fun you must have at fort chicken.

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