How to deal with dem bad free-range chooks!

A quick blow-by-low on how to keep free-range chickens slightly under control.
By Nats Chickens · Jan 8, 2019 · ·
  1. Nats Chickens
    Chickens are sweet, I think we all fell into that trap, my dad included, which is why he ordered a coop online, and we went to pick up 4 crossbred 11 week old pullets from a reliable sorce. [one was a mix-up and turned out to be 8 weeks! :p]
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    Let me just say that chickens are NOT the innocent little fluff butts we take them for, now, don't get me wrong, I am not accusing you of harbering Evil Masterminds in your backyard, but I know I am very guilty of this fact. I also think I made it worse when I asked my dad for baby chicks and he unexpectedly said yes.
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    That, in my opinion, made things ten times worse. Not that I regret getting the chicks, not at all, they are just evil, that's all.

    Their evil doings, proof of their plot for chickens to one day take over the world! *evil chicken laughter in the background*

    They run across the road and scratch up our neighbors prize garden beds, Eek!
    They escape to the front lawn and lay their eggs in a bush, Argh!
    They break into the guinea pig pen and terrorize the poor occupants, No!
    They poo all over the back porch. Oh dear...
    That, fellow chicken owners, is any poultry keepers' nightmare. So!
    How do we control these little dinosaurs on legs??
    We: A, build a giant chicken prison, B, Build a 2m high perimeter fence for our property, or C, get rid of chickens and give up in despaire.

    We chose option A, build a giant chicken prison around our coop, which we are in the middle of, here, for proof, are the plans;

    Option B, is too build a 2m high perimeter fence, this in my opinion, is a little extreme, as is option C. So I have come up with some new options...
    Clip your chickens wings, I find this helps, so I suggest looking into it if your girls are flyers.
    Restore your current fence, block up holes, replace wobbly posts, that sort of thing.
    Fence off your garden beds, unfortunately, you can't fence off your neighbors garden beds, so try to work hard on your fence.
    Electric netting, this is a little extreme, but boy is it affective!

    I must note: I am not very good at writing informative articles, so please scuze me.

    I hope this helps you with your naughty hens!

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    About Author

    Nats Chickens
    I am a terrible writer of articles, I prefer to take the photos. That's it. No more information on me.

Recent User Reviews

  1. 2 many chickens
    2/5, 2 out of 5, reviewed Jun 24, 2019 at 4:31 AM
    Build a fence? That's it? That's the way to deal with free ranging chickens?
    Gee, who could have thought that idea.
    Nats Chickens likes this.
  2. LemonyCatapult
    "Didn’t really solve free ranging problem..."
    2/5, 2 out of 5, reviewed Jun 22, 2019 at 8:15 AM
    ”How to free range better: build a fence”

    Didn’t really solve the problem unfortunately.

    Also couldn’t get past the grammar mistakes, sorry!
    Nats Chickens likes this.
  3. Butterscotchbitesfinger
    5/5, 5 out of 5, reviewed Jun 21, 2019 at 9:35 PM
    funny. Awesome. Reminds me of my 12 hens and rooster I had.
    Nats Chickens likes this.


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  1. OlympicChick
    Fun! Nicely written, humorous account :)
      Nats Chickens likes this.
  2. ChemicalchiCkns
    I'd alot rather be in a cycen prison.

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