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You Crack Me Up! Funny Chicken Jokes and Stories

By Chicken Girl1, Jun 2, 2016 | Updated: Jun 3, 2016 | | |
  1. Chicken Girl1
    Egg Jokes
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    Q: What did the evil chicken lay? Q: Why couldn't the hen find her eggs?
    A: Deviled eggs! A: Because she mislaid them




    Q: What did the chicken say when it saw scrambled eggs for the first time? Q: Why can't you tease egg whites?
    A: “What a bunch of mixed up kids!” A: Because the can't take a yolk



    Q: Did you hear about the wizard who turned his friend into an egg? Q: What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
    A: He kept trying to poach his ideas A: It cracks up!



    Q: What kind of egg lives by the sea? Q: What do you call an egg laying in a garden?
    A: An egg shell A: An egg plant



    Q: Why did the hen lay her egg on an ax? Q: How many eggs can you eat on an empty stomach?
    A: She wanted to hatchet A: Just one, because then your stomach won't be empty!





    Crossing the road
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    Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A: To get the witch’s house…..
    (keep reading.…)
    Knock knock
    Who’s there?

    The chicken


    Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground? Q: Why did the chicken cross the road take a dust bath and cross again?
    A: To get to the other slide A: Because she was a dirty double crosser!



    Q: Why did the duck cross the road? Q: Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
    A: Because it was the chickens day off A: She was afraid someone would casear!



    Q: Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? Q: Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
    A: She wanted to stretch her legs A: Because she wanted to lay it on the line






    Other Chicken Jokes
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    Q: Why do chickens make perfect cashiers at the Dollar Tree? Q: What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
    A: Because all they need to say is “Buck, Buck, Buck” A: A poul-tree



    Q: What did the hen pecked rooster say to the cockerel? Q: Why was the chicken thrown out of the ball game?
    A: “Enjoy yourself now; once you get married, your free ranging days are over.” A: They suspected fowl play



    Q: What scary stories do chickens tell chicks around the campfire? Q: What do you get when you cross a cement mixer and a hen?
    A: “So then, just as she thought it was safe to cross….” A: A brick layer!



    Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for three and a half days? Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a Pitt bull?
    A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125. A: Just the Pitt bull



    A duck was about to cross the road when a chicken looked at him and said…. Q: What did Snow White call her chicken?
    “Don’t do it man! You will never hear the end of it!” A: Egg white



    Q: Who wrote the book Great Eggspectations? *Farmer takes a chicken out of the pen* Chicken to its friend: "I think
    A: Charles Chickens he is off to the dentist, I just heard something about his cavity being filled."






    Funny Chicken Stories
    [​IMG]


    One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story
    where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read “…and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, “The
    sky is falling, the sky is falling!”The teacher paused and then asked the class, “And what do you think the farmer said?”
    One little girl raised her and hand and replied, “I bet he said: ‘Holy cow! A talking chicken!”



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    A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, "Buk Buk BUK."
    The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them. Around midday, the two chickens
    return to the circulation desk and say, "Buk Buk BuKKOOK!" The librarian decides that the chickens desire another
    three books. The chickens leave as before. The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach
    the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, " "Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!The librarian is now a little suspicious
    of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them. She followed them out of the library,
    out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens
    throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying,
    Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit…


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    A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24
    the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has
    grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"

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    About Author

    Chicken Girl1
    A chicken girl raising her flock of 20 birds on 10 acres, with lots of woods and privacy.

Comments

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  1. RodNTN
    Great jokes!
  2. ChickenLover200

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