$2 Bill

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by Quail_Antwerp, Sep 11, 2008.

  1. Quail_Antwerp

    Quail_Antwerp [IMG]emojione/assets/png/2665.png?v=2.2.7[/IMG]Mrs

    Aug 16, 2008
    THE $2.00 BILL

    The $2 Bill. Everyone should start carrying them!
    I am STILL laughing!! I think we need to quit saving
    our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger
    generation doesn't even know they exist.

    On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for
    a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill.

    I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not
    have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying
    to break a $50 bill.

    Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go."
    Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"
    Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold and hand
    him the $2 bill.. He looks at it kind of funny.
    Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

    He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.
    The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

    Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
    Manager: "No. A what?"
    Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
    Manager: "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 > bill."
    Server: "Yeah, thought so." He comes back to me and says,
    "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
    Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
    Server: "I don't know."
    Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"
    Server: "Yeah."
    Me: "So, why won't you take it?"
    Server: "Well, hang on a sec."

    He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me
    like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, "He says I have to take > it."

    Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
    Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe > and get change.
    Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."
    Server: "What should I do?"
    Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."
    Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."
    Manager: "Just tell him."
    Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

    The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't take
    big bills this time of night."

    Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."
    Manager: "We don't take those, either."
    Me: "Why not?"
    Manager: "I think you know why."
    Me: "No really, tell me why."
    Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
    Me: "Excuse me?"
    Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
    Me: "What on earth for?"
    Manager: "Please, sir."
    Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
    Manager: "Would you please just leave?"
    Me: "No.."
    Manager: "Fine -- have it your way then."
    Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

    At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security
    on the phone around the corner.

    I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and
    I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later
    this 45-year-oldish guy Comes in.

    Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
    Manager (whispering): "This guy is trying to give me some
    (pause) funny money."
    Guard: "No kidding! What?"
    Manager: "Get this. A two dollar bill."
    Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?"
    Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
    Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"
    Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is."
    Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"
    Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
    Guard: "Yeah."

    Security Guard walks over to me and......

    Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
    Me: "Uh, no."
    Guard: "Lemme see 'em."
    Me: "Why?"
    Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

    At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat, so I say, "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.

    I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I 'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, "Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"

    Manager: "It's fake."
    Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."
    Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."
    Guard: "Yeah? "
    Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

    The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.

    So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too. Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

    If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.
  2. redoak

    redoak Chillin' With My Peeps

    Feb 27, 2008
    Russia, NY
    omg that's great.
  3. Nifty-Chicken

    Nifty-Chicken Administrator Staff Member

    Holy cow that is a good story!!! Did that really happen to you or cut / paste from somewhere else?

    Dang I'd love for that to happen to me. I love stuff like that. I guess I should start carrying them around with me just for the effect.

    I think you can still get them from the bank, right?

    Oh, btw, do you happen to know how much they cost? [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
  4. SoleProvider

    SoleProvider Out Of The Brooder

    May 20, 2008
  5. vicki2x2

    vicki2x2 Super Chick

    Feb 9, 2008
    Central Michigan
    I used to save them. I think I still have a stack around here somewhere, but I haven't seen them in circulation in years. I could totally see this happening! Especially when the manager is often not much older than the teen running the cash register!

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