25 Things to make you smile

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by rooster0209, Mar 5, 2009.

  1. rooster0209

    rooster0209 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 7, 2008
    North Dakota
    TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

    1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

    2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
    3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
    4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
    5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

    6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
    7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
    8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

    9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
    10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

    11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room- spinning
    medicine.
    12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
    13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
    15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

    16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
    17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
    18 . Procrastinate Now!

    19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
    20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

    22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
    23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
    24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
    25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
    thousand times the memory.

    26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

    27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music .

    28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
    29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
     
  2. Cats Critters

    Cats Critters Completely Indecisive

    [​IMG] [​IMG] It's just so true! [​IMG]
     
  3. Chickie Mamma

    Chickie Mamma Farmer at Heart

    Apr 20, 2008
    Sherman, CT
    [​IMG] LOVE IT !!! [​IMG]
     
  4. pw_quiltworks

    pw_quiltworks One Handy Chick

    2,078
    100
    266
    Jan 7, 2009
    Maine
    Hey I resemble this remark
    29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on. [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     

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