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Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Velociraptor, Jun 5, 2008.
It sound like you have figured out you have been enabling this person and have had enough. Good for you!
Sometimes people have to fall in order to figure out how to get back up and stand on there on two feet.
Makes sense to me V, living short and tidy is the only sensible way to be.
Yup! Cut em loose!
My family is like this also..... my mom STILL borrows money from my Grandmother that she more often than not doesn't get paid back. My Uncle borrowed money from my Grandfather who barely had enough to live on, up until he died, and did it always because his knew his dad would never tell him "no". They both have trouble keeping a job. My mom complains that she can't do this work or this kind of job because of this or that.... excuses! Same for her brother.,..... surprise, surprise!
In 9 years the DH and I have borrowed money twice when we were in a SERIOUS pinch! Paid back IMMEDIATELY!!! I HATE borrowing!!!! And I hate even more so, lending I don't lend money. There have been a few occassions when I've given money because the people who needed it have done much for us in the past, and will continue to be there for us if we need them. Of course, this can backfire if you have the type of person that has no scruples about taking from you. I won't give money to those people...period! Not a dime
My mother and uncle have been enabled their entire lives..... now that my Grandfather is gone... and my Grandmother won't be too far behind the way she smokes and drinks..... it's just a matter of time before it all comes crashing down, I fear. Good thing that you realized that the person needed to own up!
The biggest misake ANYBODY can make is to lend money to friends and/or family with the expectations that it will be paid back. (in your case, consider yourself EXTREMELY lucky!)
Not to be mean or anything, because if I have it and KNOW they are in real need. I will GIVE it to them. Never expecting it back because then that will only make me mad at them in the end.
And by saying needy. People who live beyond their means and refuse to do what they can to bring their monthly costs down, IE Lower the cable package/phone package/ or sell one of those boats. Those people will not get a penny from me.
Now if their is nothing left to do but walk away from your house with nowhere else to go. Those folks get my help without any conditions. Because I know that I too am susseptible (right spelling?) to financial emergencies.
BUT I do absolutely EVERYTHING I can avoid these situations. So my family DOES do without the fancy cars/furniture.
I have a beat up 95 toyota with great gas mileage. People pity me when they see my car. But I am as proud as I can be to own it outright!
I don't have any furniture in my family room. It doesn't even get used. And my living room has a crappy old couch that was left in my mom's house when she bought it!
But all is paid for. The only thing I worry about is Mortg/phone/electric/food.
And I am working on getting the Mort. paid off once I sell this "mansion" to move into a free and clear home.
And that is my opinion. LOVE
Quote:I agree! It has NOTHING to do with money, and everything to do with ethics. Not sure what your mortgage is, but I doubt everyone with a car payment higher than it is a moocher.
I've been burned like that before by my sister. little bites here and there I'll bet she's got me for 5 or 6 grand before I got smart.
The last time she asked for money was three or four years ago. I went to the book store and got a "lawer in a box" that has a bunch of standard forms, made a loan document, with intrest , sent it to her to sign. I also wanted a COMPLETE monthly budget to find out why she can't seem to pay her bills.
She NEVER mentioned it again, neither have I. Guess she found a better way than in my wallet.
We still talk often to stay current, She just know not to ask for anymore money.