A little Christmas poem

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by TransplantedTexan, Dec 18, 2007.

  1. TransplantedTexan

    TransplantedTexan Songster

    Jul 9, 2007
    Bear Creek, Wi
    Politically Correct Santa
    'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
    How to live in a world that's politically correct?
    His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
    "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

    And labour conditions at the North Pole
    Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
    Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
    Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

    And equal employment had made it quite clear
    That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
    So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
    Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

    The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
    The ruts were termed dangerous by the C.A.A.
    And people had started to call for the cops
    When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.

    Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
    His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
    And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows:
    Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.

    So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
    Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
    Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
    Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

    And as for the gifts, why, he'd never a notion
    That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
    Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
    Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

    Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
    Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
    Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
    Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

    Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
    Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
    No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
    Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

    And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
    Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
    For they raised the hackles of those psychological
    Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

    Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passé;
    And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
    So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
    He just could not figure out what to do next.

    He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
    But you've got to be careful with that word today.
    His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
    Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

    Something special was needed, a gift that he might
    Give to all without angering the left or the right.
    A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
    Each group of people, every religion;

    Every ethnicity, every hue,
    Everyone, everywhere...even YOU.
    So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
    "May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
  2. poppycat

    poppycat Songster

    Jan 26, 2007
    OK that's depressing.
  3. WoodlandWoman

    WoodlandWoman Crowing

    May 8, 2007
    That's why Santa makes the parents and grandparents do it now. [​IMG]

    Let THEM figure out what to give those children!
  4. Kentucky~Momma

    Kentucky~Momma Songster

    May 20, 2007
    South Central Kentucky
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
  5. lacyloo

    lacyloo Cooped Up

    May 26, 2007
    north florida
  6. TxChiknRanchers

    TxChiknRanchers Songster

    Aug 18, 2007
    Southeast Texas
    Ok between that and the girl mourning at the cemetery. I'm ready to cut my throat! And no help or smart remarks needed! [​IMG]
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2007
  7. TransplantedTexan

    TransplantedTexan Songster

    Jul 9, 2007
    Bear Creek, Wi
    Well at least it turns nice in the end.
    In truth I saw this poem and just had to laugh. I have to laugh cause the truth symbolized by it really ticks me off.
    It ticks me off cause of what Tx mentions about the girl mourning the soldier. We have people mourning lost loved ones, and good men volenteering to keep this country free, and the rest of the world for that matter. Yet so many internal forces work to limit free men in the interest of political correctness, or in my mind the policy of " My right to not be offended is more important than your right to offend."

    Not to put forth the wrong idea -
    It's not that that I just love going around willy nilly offending people for spite or fun, but more like you live your way I will live mine, sense of freedom that is slowly and insidiously being removed from our society today.
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2007

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