A Mom's Dear Santa Letter

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by BettyR, Dec 19, 2008.

  1. BettyR

    BettyR Songster

    Mar 1, 2008
    Texas Gulf Coast
    Dear Santa,

    I've been a pretty good mom this year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled

    children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than the doctor,

    sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree

    on the school playground. Sold enough popcorn and cookies to send a

    small town to scout camp this summer. I was hoping you could spread my

    list out over several Christmases, (I've had to write this letter with

    my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room

    between cycles,) who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next

    18 years to write again.

    Here are my Christmas wishes:

    I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple,

    which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze;

    but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the

    aisle in the grocery store.

    I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in
    the seventh month

    of my last pregnancy.

    If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd
    like fingerprint-resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a

    television that won't broadcast any programs containing talking animals;

    and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I

    can hide a few candy bars.

    On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes,

    Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with kids who don't fight

    and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of

    power tools. A nice hiding place to talk on the phone would be a


    I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in

    living room" and "Take your hands off your brother/sister,"

    because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and

    can only be heard by the dog or the neighbors.

    If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough

    time to shower, brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or

    the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being

    served in a Styrofoam container. Here's a novel idea...I get to go to

    the restroom uninterrupted...and alone!

    If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten

    the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a

    vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if

    you could coerce
    my children to help around the house without demanding

    payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

    Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and I think my son saw

    my feet under the laundry room door. (I suspect he wants his crayon

    back.) Have a safe trip, remember to leave your wet boots by the door,

    then come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

    Help yourself to the cookies on the table but please don't eat too many

    (you'll make yourself sick!) or leave crumbs on the carpet.

    Yours Always,


    P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can just

    keep my children young enough to continue believing in you.

  2. gumpsgirl

    gumpsgirl Crowing Premium Member

    Mar 25, 2008
    What a great letter! Thanks so much for the smile and for sharing that. [​IMG]
  3. English Chick

    English Chick English Mum

    Jun 27, 2008
    Cheshire UK
    Lovely letter BettyR........I hope he brings you all your heart desires and more.........
  4. therealsilkiechick

    therealsilkiechick ShowGirl Queen

    Jul 18, 2007
    Northwestern, pa
    i have 7 kid's counting his, mine and ours , oh is that ever true in this house,lol. [​IMG]
  5. joebryant

    joebryant Crowing

    I hope that I didn't wake anyone up because of my laughing out loud. It's only 6:30 A.M. Hope you get everything you asked for; you deserve it. Merry Christmas

  6. Ol'FashionHen

    Ol'FashionHen Songster

    Oct 24, 2008
    The South
    [​IMG], Wonderful...Merry Christmas you good momma you [​IMG]
  7. Bammony

    Bammony Red-dress-less

    Aug 15, 2008
    Salina, Utah
    That's great! Thank you. [​IMG]
  8. smom1976

    smom1976 too many projects too little time!

    May 2, 2008
    Pensacola, FL
    my sediments exactly! Very nice! I love it...
  9. jbowyer01

    jbowyer01 Just Me!

    Aug 29, 2008
    Hogansville, Georgia
    Lovely letter..and believe it or not there will be times when you wish they would stay little.

  10. chickenbuddy

    chickenbuddy Songster

    Jun 4, 2008
    I don't know what type of responses you want, but that is funny! [​IMG]

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