I've seen post the past couple of months from people who have lost their better halve and have had a hard time posting to them. What do you say to someone who is going through this? How do you help? How do you get help? I lost Bill July 12, 2010. We had plans and we were excited about the next day. We were going to have a better life and it was going to start that Monday. We spent hours Satuday and Sunday talking about what needed to be done so we could get back to our goals and have some fun. We hadn't just had fun or spent time traveling for things other than funerals for years. I had just lost my mom in April and may dad in May. I was scared I was going to lose more aand didn't think it was going to be that close again. I thought it would be something other than another death, but told him I didn't want him to wear himself out and be my 3rd. He smailed and said "I'm not going anywhere. It's you and me baby!". I found him in the bathroom floor the next morning. Not 24 hours later! Still isn't really at time, but others it is more than real. This is the thread I started about Bill https://www.backyardchickens.com/forum/viewtopic.php?pid=4608326#p4608326 I visited 2 other sites today for "Widows". Funny how when you're growing up you think about being a fiance or wife, but never a "widow". I thought about that word 5 days after he was gone and I've been refered to as his widow once, at the VA office. What a horrible term. What a horrible position. I read these sites today and although they were full of people who were going through the same things and they understood more than anyone else could, I have issues. I have had problems leaving my home. Shopping used to be my hobby, but I panic in lines and crowds and without Bill with me or to call on the phone and get me through it, I'm a basket case. No insurance, so nothing and I've been cooped up at home for the past 4 years and it's a chore to get me out of it. I want to go out. I just can't. Now I have to start from scratch and figureout how I'm going to support us with the problems I have. I've also survived several stroke which caused my brain to hemorage and even lived through a brain tumor, but I can't walk out the door. I don't have my support any longer. He's gone! I know there are several of us here on this forum. I thought maybe we could use this thread to talk and ask questions and work out problems that come up or just cry or vent. Maybe we can work together to get through this. It takes me some time to get comfortable even online. This is like home. My chickens have been theraputic for me and I since they've been that way for other things I thought maybe they could be part of this too. This forum is like family, so maybe as a family we can work together to get a part of our lives back and work to get our new lives going. New lives...................hmmm thought I had just started that........I hope the new me does Bill justice. Anyone else need to be here?