Add me to the Bad day list :( Vent

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Schultz, Apr 14, 2009.

  1. Schultz

    Schultz CluckN'Crow Farm

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    Aug 5, 2008
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    My 19 year old daughter called me Friday to inform me she has enlisted in the Army National Guard. Although I don't like the idea, I figured I would not give her too much greif over it. She recently dropped out of college and I think it will be a great way for her to get the money she needs to pursue her education as well as help her grow up. Well, she called this morning to tell me that she and her boyfriend are going to the Justice of the Peace Monday, to be married [​IMG] [​IMG] They haven't been together long but they want to marry before she leaves for boot camp. I think it's a control issue but I didn't say that to her. I asked that she pray for guidance and I congradulated her. Of course, every mom has a wedding dream for their child and I don't want to be selfish so I will obey her wishes that it only be the 2 of them there. I guess I just don't understand and I am really hurt and confused.
     
  2. ChickenDreamer

    ChickenDreamer Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Sep 16, 2008
    Northern Ontario
    Oh my you've had a long week.
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  3. chickiebaby

    chickiebaby Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 2, 2008
    western mass
    That is a whole lot of new information to swallow. I really feel for you; my oldest will turn eighteen quite soon. I guess your daughter has to go live her life, but its a lot of big stuff to just be "told" all at once.

    When our kids do something we disagree with/don't understand, it seems the best thing we can do is keep the doors open so they can still talk to us when they need us.

    But I'm totally going to be thinking of you. You're such a brave mom for congratulating her, and so wise to swallow any other thoughts at the moment. I'll just try to be half as good.
     
  4. horsejody

    horsejody Squeaky Wheel

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    Are they possibly rushing it a bit so that he can have the medical and housing benefits of a military spouse?
     
  5. Mandalina

    Mandalina Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 1, 2009
    Savannah,MO
    i'm sorry! that must be hard.
     
  6. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Quote:That's what I think.... My step daughter did that before her husband was deployed. But they did manage a small wedding.

    SChultz [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] What a week!!!!
     
  7. Schultz

    Schultz CluckN'Crow Farm

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    Quote:Honestly, I don't think that is the case. What I got from the conversation is that he wants her to be married while in boot camp so she looks unavailable. I know that's silly to us but for them, I guess it seems reasonable. Both are very young and naive when it comes to the world. I just hope that she is making the right choices. I really don't want this to happen but I also, don't want to be the bad guy!!
     
  8. horsejody

    horsejody Squeaky Wheel

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    My son was in the Marines and he was getting out last September. He wanted to get married to his fiance before he left so that they would pack out all of her belongings too. The minister went to the courthouse with them in July and they got legally married. Then in September they had the big wedding. They had to do the legal ceremony in July because it takes the military 2 months to get their paperwork straight. Fortunately, they didn't rush though. They had been seeing eachother for over 1 1/2 years.

    Long engagements don't always mean better marriages. DH and I "rushed into it" 26 years ago, and it's still good.
     
  9. Whispering Winds

    Whispering Winds Chillin' With My Peeps

    Quote:Honestly, I don't think that is the case. What I got from the conversation is that he wants her to be married while in boot camp so she looks unavailable. I know that's silly to us but for them, I guess it seems reasonable. Both are very young and naive when it comes to the world. I just hope that she is making the right choices. I really don't want this to happen but I also, don't want to be the bad guy!!

    Wow, keep an eye on him. I have a son-in-law like that, and it can cause great grief for your daughter. He has gotten better, but I would have been much much happier if she would have waited and not jumped in with both feet first. When she gets to boot camp, and thinks about this, maybe she will see the light. If he is a good guy, then wish them the best and let them get on with it. It's hard letting go, and even a small wedding would have been nice. You can plan a pretty little reception for them when she gets to come home after boot camp. They are almost as much fun as the wedding.
     
  10. Schultz

    Schultz CluckN'Crow Farm

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    Thank you horsejody.
    She doesn't want a big wedding later. This will be it for them. I guess a little background would be helpful.
    My daughter is very immature but decided to move out at 18. She is book smart just not street smart. Well, we have helped her with a few things but she has jumped from one boyfriend to another over the past 6 months. They have only been together for 2 months and I only met him recently when they moved in together beacuse friends and family we tired of being taken advantage of. He has only worked for about a month and she works at Dairy Queen. She dropped out of college so her dad decided he had had it with paying for school and recommended the National Guard. My husband and I didn't know each other long before we married but we were adults! She just goes with the flow of what seems easiest and convenient for her. I hope that makes sense.
     

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