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All you english experts and students...

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by chixrus, Sep 14, 2009.

  1. chixrus

    chixrus Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Oct 24, 2008
    i had an idea. what if any student that is writing a paper (preferably shorter than five pages) could post it here and anyone could get on, read it, and post any corrections that they might have. do you think its a good idea? or is it stating too much your age?
     
  2. ksacres

    ksacres At Your Service

    Nov 16, 2007
    San Antonio TX
    Some people have done exactly that. I stay as far away from those as possible. Most wouldn't like my corrections; I have a tendency to rewrite entire paragraphs. [​IMG]
     
  3. English Chick

    English Chick English Mum

    Jun 27, 2008
    Cheshire UK
    Quote:Go for it..........
     
  4. chixrus

    chixrus Chillin' With My Peeps

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    0
    129
    Oct 24, 2008
    ok, i'll start. the assignment is to create a imaginary conversation between Huck and Jim from the adventures of huckleberry finn. i'm supposed to stay to the dialect of their time period.

    The moon was bright. It shined down on the water below, reflecting its image back up to itself. It also illuminated two figures standing below on a deserted island, with a small fire. They appeared to be arguing about something.
    If the moon could think, it probably would have been thinking how silly it was of the two people below to have a fire, first off, and secondly, to be arguing. After all, wasn’t the taller one a runaway slave? It most certainly looked like it. Their voices were hushed, but their movements were slightly violent, like the discussion below was quite heated. The moon might have wondered why.
    “Jim, it just don’t make no sense!” exclaimed the shorter figure, “why don’t you just want to have roasted turtle for dinner and have cooked fish in the mornin'? It just don’t make sense!”
    “Now look-ee here, Huck!” said Jim. “You knows dat yo' bein' jis as ridiculous, why doan’ you jis want fish for dinner?” Silence fell for a moment as Huck tried to find words to express his reasoning.
    “It’s this¾” Huck started before Jim cut him off real quick.
    “Huck, you hear dat?” Both listened for a heart-stopping moment.
    “I don’t hear anything, Jim. What d’you reckon you’re doin’?” asked Huck, exasperated. Jim looked spooked.
    “I heared somethin' over there, I jis knows dat I did!”
    “There ain't no sound, Jim!” said Huck scornfully, “if there was, I woulda heard it!” They were silent for a moment longer.
    “Ah, you's right, Huck. I musta imagined et. Ef you really want, we can jis have turtle for dinner t'night, Huck. I's don't mind.” Jim looked quite startled. Something about the noise musta spooked him badly enough that he just wanted to eat quick and put out the fire.
    “Funny, Jim, I was just 'bout to ask you if you just wanted to quick have fish.”
    “Well, see here, Huck, what ef one of us has fish an' de other turtle, dat way, we both get what we want, without forcing de other to do de same.”
    “Well, I reckon that sounds like a mighty good idea, and I'd be much obleeged to have turtle, and I'll try not to let it bother me that you're having fish instead. I still don’t understand…”
    “C’mon, now, Huck, we’s don’t want to git into dat ag’in.”
    “You’re right.” mumbled Huck, ashamed. “Sorry.”
    Jim smiled and walked a short distance away from the fire to grab a couple of fish while Huck grabbed a turtle that they had caught earlier and stepped over towards the fire.
    Soon, the only sounds that disturbed the night were the sounds of the wind whispering in the trees and the quiet sounds of two people happily chewing below.

    Tell me what you think (i need an A [​IMG] )
     
  5. Camelot Farms

    Camelot Farms Chickenista

    ok, i'll start. the assignment is to create a imaginary conversation between Huck and Jim from the adventures of huckleberry finn. i'm supposed to stay to the dialect of their time period.

    The moon was bright. It shone down on the water below, reflecting its image back up to itself. It also illuminated two figures standing below on a deserted island, with a small fire. They appeared to be arguing about something.
    If the moon could think, it probably would have been thinking how silly it was for the two people below to have a fire, first off, and secondly, to be arguing. After all, wasn’t the taller one a runaway slave? It most certainly looked like it. Their voices were hushed, but their movements were slightly violent, like the discussion below was quite heated. The moon must have wondered why.
    “Jim, it just don’t make no sense!” exclaimed the shorter figure, “why don’t you just want to have roasted turtle for dinner and have cooked fish in the mornin'? It just don’t make sense!”
    “Now look-ee here, Huck!” said Jim. “You knows dat yo' bein' jis as ridiculous, why doan’ you jis want fish for dinner?” Silence fell for a moment as Huck tried to find words to express his reasoning.
    “It’s this¾” Huck started before Jim cut him off real quick.
    “Huck, you hear dat?” Both listened for a heart-stopping moment.
    “I don’t hear anything, Jim. What d’you reckon you’re doin’?” asked Huck, exasperated. Jim looked spooked.
    “I heared somethin' over there, I jis knows dat I did!”
    “There ain't no sound, Jim!” said Huck scornfully, “if there was, I woulda heard it!” They were silent for a moment longer.
    “Ah, you's right, Huck. I musta imagined et. Ef you really want, we can jis have turtle for dinner t'night, Huck. I's don't mind.” Jim looked quite startled. Something about the noise musta spooked him badly enough that he just wanted to eat quick and put out the fire.
    “Funny, Jim, I was jis 'bout to ask you if you just wanted to quick have fish.”
    “Well, see here, Huck, what ef one of us has fish an' de other turtle, dat way, we both get what we want, without forcing de other to do de same.”
    “Well, I reckon that sounds like a mighty good idea, and I'd be much obleeged to have turtle, and I'll try not to let it bother me that you're having fish instead. I still don’t understand…”
    “C’mon, now, Huck, we’s don’t want to git into dat ag’in.”
    “You’re right.” mumbled Huck, ashamed. “Sorry.”
    Jim smiled and walked a short distance away from the fire to grab a couple of fish while Huck grabbed a turtle that they had caught earlier and stepped over towards the fire.
    Soon, the only sounds that disturbed the night were the sounds of the wind whispering in the trees and the quiet sounds of two people happily chewing below.

    I like it [​IMG]
    I made a few suggestions in bold. I think that you want to stay in dialect for their discussion, but I wouldnt for the narration.
    Great job!
     
  6. Toast n Jelly

    Toast n Jelly Chillin' With My Peeps

    2,760
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    Jan 29, 2007
    St.Charles, QC
    “Funny, Jim, I was jis 'bout to ask you if you just wanted to quick have fish
     

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