Am I being dramatic? Or am I a doormat?

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by RHRanch, Aug 17, 2011.

  1. RHRanch

    RHRanch Chillin' With My Peeps

    Okay, without getting to caught up in the details, i have a friend from when I used to live in another state. Known for over 10 years. Used to be really close and then over time we have kind of kept drifting back and forth. So, about 3 yrs agao there was a big argument, and this friend basically dropped me for a couple of months. Later comes back all sorry and saying that it rally was just because he was going through a tough time with a breakup. Fine, I forgave the incident, but never really got over it. I mean, it was from my perspective out of the blue and pretty much made me feel very unimportant and hurt. Since then, have remained in sporadic contact, not that I havn't reached out - but there are times I had no way to contact him. Recently another break-up, hey can we talk, blah blah -so i say sure, havn't heard from you in about 8 months, but what else are friends for. So, started back up to talking pretty regularly on the phone, but then he got mad at me (was really mad at others, but I got the brunt of it). Apoligized about a second later, but now I havn't heard from him again in a long while. I feel like I just get used for him to complain about his problems and then I get dropped like a bad habit. lol Do you think i'm right to be unhappy with this friendship? Am I a doormat? Or am I too sensative?
     
  2. Savannah Poultry

    Savannah Poultry The Source

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    I think you're right for being mad! I would be super angry and told him to quit contacting me
     
  3. RHRanch

    RHRanch Chillin' With My Peeps

    Quote:Thats what I feel like saying sometimes - I feel like I am just someone he talks to if he's bored or has nothing better to do. I mean, we have always mostly gotten along great and have a nice time talking - but seriously sick of the unpredictability and feel like if I make him mad I get more cold shoulder. He is bratty.
     
  4. Beekissed

    Beekissed True BYC Addict

    Yes you are a doormat...but what are friends for? I have a friend like that I've known since first grade. He would do the very same thing to me, but I knew he was messing around with coke and booze~ I knew why he was so weird and nasty. I'd let him have his tantrums, not speak to me forever, call me up in the middle of the night to apologize and start ranting and angry talk before even getting done with the phone call.

    He has cleaned up his act now but is still a moody and unpredictable friend. One has to ask oneself, is this my friend or am I his? Does this matter to me? Does he make me feel bad? If so, you need to end the relationship.

    I don't let my friend make me feel bad because I just consider the source and know that, though I may not always like him, I still love him and apparently he needs this contact with me for some strange reason. If I can provide an outlet for his life, so be it. If I grow tired of his behavior I just tell him that he is being an idiot and he needs to apologize before he can call again. He is my oldest friend....yeah, it ain't what I would call a friendship, but we bounce off each other so rarely in this life, it doesn't leave me feeling like I need to cut him out of it altogether. [​IMG]
     
  5. ranchhand

    ranchhand Rest in Peace 1956-2011

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    Who needs the drama? [​IMG]

    I have a "friend" who only calls me when she's got nothing better to do or has run off yet another boyfriend. I don't bother to answer any more. She doesn't leave messages anyway.
     
  6. RHRanch

    RHRanch Chillin' With My Peeps

    I'm glad to be getting all the different perspectives from folks. Beekissed, you make some good points about friendship. Maybe I just need to accept that he has issues and I don't have to let them make me feel bad. Ranchand, you make some good points too - always drama with this guy.
     
  7. HorseFeatherz NV

    HorseFeatherz NV Eggink Chickens

    RHRanch If he makes you feel bad, then why have contact with him? Personally, I do a good enough job making myself feel bad.........I don't need a "friend" who does it also.



    Quote:*heavy sigh*


    I knew you were home all those times.

    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  8. ranchhand

    ranchhand Rest in Peace 1956-2011

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    Quote:*heavy sigh*


    I knew you were home all those times.
    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  9. RHRanch

    RHRanch Chillin' With My Peeps

    Thanks you all - I am really having to think about this. It helps to have written it out and see it in black and white.
     
  10. zengrrl

    zengrrl Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I truly believe that we show people how to treat us. I know how confusing it can be as I have a friend who calls me her "BFF" but is too busy until her drama is something she wants to unload on me. However when I'm have a hard time in life she's like "well everyone has problems' ummm..? You'll be showing this guy this is not acceptable behavior and he'll be a lonely guy until he figures out the right way to treat people.
     

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