Ok so I have had panic/anxiety disorder for 10 years. They tried medications which drove me out of my ever loving skull. That and I am just not the type to depend on meds. I hate it. I can't tell you how much I hate it. It makes no bloody sense and it just ticks me off. I am so angry it just won't go away. I think the fact that there is no logic to it makes me even madder. Something small happens and before I can get a handle on anything its so blown out of proportion I don't have a shot in hades of getting back under control. Its frustrating and depressing. I don't like this one tiny little bit. So tonight I have no clue what I was doing but I had my head on one fist and for whatever reason took my pulse. I apparently pushed too hard ( I have low bp and its hard sometimes to find my pulse at all) and now the back of my neck is killing me. I think somehow I probably pinched a nerve or thats what my husband told me to tell myself. ( glands are a bit swollen from a wicked little bug I am getting over and I just saw the doc. see how stupid this all is ) The first thing in my mind was I was having a stroke or its cancer, or went so far as i damaged my spine. See thats what ticks me off. I know its stupid. Honestly I do know it but I still have that one part of the brain that is screaming every bad scenario in the book. Sorry for the rant and rave but my husband is a bit frustrated with it tonight and I am more frustrated than he is. It seems to get under my control and then it breaks the fence again. Just irritating.