I guess I just need a sounding board. I'm a stay at home mom of two grade school aged girls. I was employed, part time, up until a year ago. I was laid off, due to lack of work. It was a small clinic, and one of the doctors decided to go off on her own. Since we didn't need as many techs anymore, and I was the only part timer, I was the easiest to get rid of. Anyway, I love not having to work outside of the home, but the extra money I was making, though not a ton, did help. Not to mention, it was a vet clinic, and I have alot of animals, so I did get discounts on stuff. That helped alot. I guess I am just feeling guilty, since we do live paycheck to paycheck and it always seems like some major expense seems to come up when we are least prepared for it. I am currently trying to get on with the school district as a part time substitute aid. This is something that I know I would like, plus I will have the same schedule as my kids. However, that is at a standstill right now, because I don't have the extra funds to pay for the finger printing and processing that is necessary to obtain this job. My husband never tries to make me feel guilty for not working, but I still feel guilty. He knows that we could use the extra money, but he also likes the fact that I am home when the girls need me, plus I can attend school functions, take them to Dr appts, all that kind of stuff. I know that if I were to get a part time job somewhere else, I most likely would have a hard time finding one that would be able for me to coordinate with my girls school schedule (early release days, school holidays etc) and I don't have any family that could watch them on a regular basis. I have a mini farm at home, lots of animals and land, and it is pretty much a full time job taking care of that, plus the house and the kids, when they are home from school. Another problem with getting a part time job, other than the one with the school, is the summertime. I would have to quit each summer. In the past, I was very lucky that I could work just Saturdays, if the clinic was open Sat ( they were always changing their schedule ) or that they had a position available once school started again. I work really hard around here, usually not even sitting down until dinner time. even though most of the time, I'm in alot of pain, ( I have degenerative bilateral hip displaysia, both hips need to be replaced )but still do what needs to be done. Not trying to play a pity card, just explaining my situation. If I had my way, I wouldn't work outside of the home. But I feel like that is being lazy. I don't really talk to anyone other than my husband about it, and he is fine either way, though, he would love for us to have more money, of course. Occasionally, my MIL, who I am on very good terms with, we all get along just fine, will mention an ad for a vet tech somewhere, even though I have told her that I don't think I can do that anymore. I don't know, maybe I am being sensitive, but I always get a vibe from her like she thinks I SHOULD be working. I've contemplated working from home, but not sure what I could do. Once my girls are home, there would be no hope of me being able to concentrate on anything though. I'm just wondering how to balance this whole dilema, if, at least, only in my head for now. Any ideas?