i am and lots of days i wonder what in the world am i trying to do. i want to play with mine, spoil them and send them home and then it is like oh yeah i played, i spoiled and now i am putting them to bed everynight. i am tooooooo old for all this, but i love him so much and he had no choice so here we are. kinda like the song i know what i was feeling but what was i thinking. i know sick, i should not question, i am just soooooooooooo tired. i want to sleep and he wants to play. i do right by himl, but i steadly think i am too old and i just want it all to stop. like what have i done to deserve this, what have i done to owe my life to this. but what would my life be without all this. does anyone understand?