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Appropriate for this group.

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by TxChiknRanchers, Dec 21, 2007.

  1. TxChiknRanchers

    TxChiknRanchers Chillin' With My Peeps

    990
    4
    151
    Aug 18, 2007
    Southeast Texas
    MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

    Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital .

    Please select from the following options menu:

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the
    line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the
    Mother Ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell
    you which number to press.

    If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
    nothing will make you happy anyway.

    If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

    If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the
    beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
    memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy
    to talk with you.

    If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie
    down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

    If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

    This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

    (Well, my job is done .....Your turn)
     
  2. lacyloo

    lacyloo Cooped Up

    May 26, 2007
    north florida
    [​IMG]
     
  3. S n M Poultry

    S n M Poultry Chillin' With My Peeps

    Aug 31, 2007
    Riverside,CA
    [​IMG]
     
  4. TxChiknRanchers

    TxChiknRanchers Chillin' With My Peeps

    990
    4
    151
    Aug 18, 2007
    Southeast Texas
    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
    memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    I keep pressing nine but I cant remember "why" PC!​
     
  5. hsm5grls

    hsm5grls Chillin' With My Peeps

    781
    1
    153
    Oct 3, 2007
    tucson
    96969696969696 I really am dysexic LOL 96969696 [​IMG]
     
  6. Southern28Chick

    Southern28Chick Flew The Coop

    Apr 16, 2007
    If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696

    That's me. No really, I am dyslexic. Proud of it though.​
     
  7. hsm5grls

    hsm5grls Chillin' With My Peeps

    781
    1
    153
    Oct 3, 2007
    tucson
    It makes it hard to pay the bills sometimes. I think it is 35.00 But it is really 53.00 LOL I have to go over the bills 3 or 4 times before I am sure I got it right.
     
  8. Scrambled Egg

    Scrambled Egg Flock Mistress

    Aug 29, 2007
    Fayetteville, NC
    The one of the little voices is telling me to repeatedly press 1 for the mother ship and another voice is telling me to get someone else to do it for me because it won't actually make me happy but with the menopause suicidal hot flash and the short term memory loss, I just completely forgot the whole thing anyway!!!


    Very funny Randy! Thanks for contacting all of us unstable folks, we appreciate your concern!! [​IMG]
     
  9. Blisschick

    Blisschick not rusty

    Feb 20, 2007
    Shepherd, Texas
    [​IMG]:lau
     
  10. SpottedCrow

    SpottedCrow Flock Goddess

    Guilty...I'm most of those, so I guess I'll just hold...
     

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