Banned From Wal-Mart

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by HennysMom, Dec 5, 2008.

  1. HennysMom

    HennysMom Keeper of the Tiara

    BANNED FROM WAL-MART ETA: This is a joke - I personally didnt do this LOL

    This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

    Dear Mrs. Samsel,

    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
    2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
    12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
    14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
    And last, but not least ..
    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    HAVE A GOOD DAY TODAY!! ROFL!!!!!!
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2008
  2. Grant6411

    Grant6411 RIP Steven

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    you CANNOT BE SERIOUS NO WAY YOU DID THOSE THINGS
     
  3. Opa

    Opa Opa-wan Chickenobi

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    I don't care who you are. That's funny.
     
  4. Grant6411

    Grant6411 RIP Steven

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    ya lol its funny but you cant be serious....are you?
     
  5. HennysMom

    HennysMom Keeper of the Tiara

    Grant....

    I did not do those things... it's a joke that I posted (note the forum I posted it in [​IMG] )

    but it IS funny LOL
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2008
  6. CrowinKing

    CrowinKing Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Man now all I gotta do is get banned I hate when my wife says lets go shopping [​IMG] I hate shopping! I like to duck and cover when she says that!!! [​IMG]
     
  7. chicken_boy_Kurt

    chicken_boy_Kurt Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 20, 2008
    LMAO [​IMG]
     
  8. lauralou

    lauralou Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Central Virginia
    Oh, that's so funny, I'm crying. I can see my husband doing all of things, as he is so bored while I'm trying to shop.

    I must read it to him, as soon as he returns!
     
  9. bluey

    bluey thootp veteran

    Apr 10, 2008
    Washington, PA
    I aspire to the Walmart banhammer! [​IMG]
     
  10. missourichickenmama

    missourichickenmama SURPRISE!

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    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] that was so funny!!!
     

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