"With gas prices as high as they are these days, we can't afford not to own a syphon" "I don't care what any scientists say, Christmas Eve is the longest day of the year" "Are you pregnant, Sir?" "...You know that feeling you get when your lying on the ground waiting for the paramedics..." "If I were to die right now, I don't think I could look my own children in the face" "If you're so upset about being short, why don't you squat down?" "I don't think he meant it like that, but he sure can run away fast..." "I've been searching for days, but I've finally done it. I've discovered the cure for inquisity" "I happen to like my potbelly. Me and my fat, you know, we're close. I'm too attached with it to part with it"